I love this time of year so much but this year the one thing missing is the snow! we have had only one snow with any accumulation and our temperatures have been so high! We are still busy though. Megan just had her dance recital tonight. It was beautiful! She did wonderful and was so pretty! And I love watching all the other dancers as well. The whole program is just great!
I still have shopping to do and projects to finish. but I have been sick for 2 weeks and finally starting to feel better though not 100% yet. I just want to be back to normal so I can get things ready for Brendan's family to come in just over a week! Mine will be here for the weekend, so I have some things to get ready before then too .
well, guess bedtime is calling and here is to feeling better and getting more done!
Monday, December 13, 2010
Tuesday, November 02, 2010
the one with the coffee and voting
I don't know if I have mentioned what an addiction I have to Starbucks pumpkin spice frappuccinos, but it is a major addiction! I just have to have them, everyday~though I don't have them every day, but I want to. I do have them several times a week. I know they are bad, really bad. Expensive and high in calories and not to mention the ingredients that I have been fighting to remove from my diet for more then a year. but I have given myself permission as a treat, since the rest of my diet is pretty clean. but I go overboard, I know it.
I have been trying to come up with different replacements and restrictions. I am letting myself have one on every other Friday (which is pay day) and then I have been trying to drink more hot spiced cider to get some of the same flavor that I crave. I use organic apple cider and mulling spices. and I love the flavor. it has been hard though since our weather has been so hot!
this morning I made coffee for my husband before work and I decided to experiment... I had some cream off our milk and I added a spoonful of pumpkin puree and then a sprinkle of cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger and cloves. I added that to my coffee and some cane sugar...I was fabulous!!!! oh man, I am making up a bigger amount and keeping it in the fridge for the future, this will save me hundreds of dollars and probably a few calories as well!
also, a reminder...VOTE!! I did! I took the kids and explained the process (counts as civics ya know) it was an interesting time, the process was different this time, the voting machines were different. But I hope they learned something and know how important it is. I am hoping and praying for good outcomes :)
I have been trying to come up with different replacements and restrictions. I am letting myself have one on every other Friday (which is pay day) and then I have been trying to drink more hot spiced cider to get some of the same flavor that I crave. I use organic apple cider and mulling spices. and I love the flavor. it has been hard though since our weather has been so hot!
this morning I made coffee for my husband before work and I decided to experiment... I had some cream off our milk and I added a spoonful of pumpkin puree and then a sprinkle of cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger and cloves. I added that to my coffee and some cane sugar...I was fabulous!!!! oh man, I am making up a bigger amount and keeping it in the fridge for the future, this will save me hundreds of dollars and probably a few calories as well!
also, a reminder...VOTE!! I did! I took the kids and explained the process (counts as civics ya know) it was an interesting time, the process was different this time, the voting machines were different. But I hope they learned something and know how important it is. I am hoping and praying for good outcomes :)
the one with all the candy
so, I am usually very conscience of what we eat around here. but that is hard to do on Halloween. So, I have let the kids have some freedom to eat some candy. They have made good choices and I am glad. I put a bowl out and said anything you don't want goes in there, and they actually put stuff in! and they continue to do it. sometimes trading but still putting stuff they don't want or won't eat in there. I told them today was the last day and it will go away.
My husband said someone at work yesterday told him they have a "halloween witch" that comes a few days after halloween. the kids pick 5 favorites and they set the rest on the porch and in the morning the "halloween witch" has replaced the candy with a toy! I think that is brilliant! I have tried to pay my kids for the candy, but I guess they are spoiled enough (and deprived enough of junk food) that the candy is more valuable. LOL My husband and I don't like the witch idea, but we are thinking of calling in the "harvest fairy" with a similar job description.
I am getting over the few days of poor nutrition provided by all that candy, but it's the tooth decay I am worried about. we have bad enough teeth around here anyway! hopefully I can convince them to be done today. I was even a little sick yesterday after indulging in a few treats from the throw away bowl. I finally threw it away this morning, the temptation was too great.
well, all in all a good fun time and now we are in NOVEMBER! wow time sure flies!
My husband said someone at work yesterday told him they have a "halloween witch" that comes a few days after halloween. the kids pick 5 favorites and they set the rest on the porch and in the morning the "halloween witch" has replaced the candy with a toy! I think that is brilliant! I have tried to pay my kids for the candy, but I guess they are spoiled enough (and deprived enough of junk food) that the candy is more valuable. LOL My husband and I don't like the witch idea, but we are thinking of calling in the "harvest fairy" with a similar job description.
I am getting over the few days of poor nutrition provided by all that candy, but it's the tooth decay I am worried about. we have bad enough teeth around here anyway! hopefully I can convince them to be done today. I was even a little sick yesterday after indulging in a few treats from the throw away bowl. I finally threw it away this morning, the temptation was too great.
well, all in all a good fun time and now we are in NOVEMBER! wow time sure flies!
Saturday, September 25, 2010
the one where I almost burn down our house
so, last night while I was writing that very depressing post, I had flicked on my crock pot which had a jar of yogurt warming in it, with plans to write a post, switch laundry and then turn it off. it needed to be on just long enough to get warm so it could stay warm all night. I had the jar wrapped in towels, and then in the crock pot then the pot was wrapped in a big towel, and I had a thermometer stuck in next to the jar and sticking out enough for me to see through the lid, so I could semi regulate the temp.
well, I put in some diapers to do a rinse cycle then I sat down to write that post (talk about being fortuitous, you know, about how I fail!) anyway, I then went and started the diapers on a soak, and then went to bed.
about 3am my husband woke me up and said he smelled something...we ran to the kitchen to fine the crock pot bubbling away and smoking! he took the outer towel off and the handles of the pot were melted! Bren took the lid off and smoke poured out so he put it back. in the jar you could see the milk boiling! we were afraid that the jar and or the crock would crack or even explode. the jar was capped so that was really our biggest fear. of course we turned the thing off and then I sat up to make sure nothing was on fire.
after it seemed the disaster was averted, I went to bed. this morning it is all cool so I took the towels out and they are burnt. the milk in the jar has separated and the solids are brown! yuck!
I could learn a lesson, but in the vein of my last post, I am going to mope and just commit never to use an appliance again!
well, I put in some diapers to do a rinse cycle then I sat down to write that post (talk about being fortuitous, you know, about how I fail!) anyway, I then went and started the diapers on a soak, and then went to bed.
about 3am my husband woke me up and said he smelled something...we ran to the kitchen to fine the crock pot bubbling away and smoking! he took the outer towel off and the handles of the pot were melted! Bren took the lid off and smoke poured out so he put it back. in the jar you could see the milk boiling! we were afraid that the jar and or the crock would crack or even explode. the jar was capped so that was really our biggest fear. of course we turned the thing off and then I sat up to make sure nothing was on fire.
after it seemed the disaster was averted, I went to bed. this morning it is all cool so I took the towels out and they are burnt. the milk in the jar has separated and the solids are brown! yuck!
I could learn a lesson, but in the vein of my last post, I am going to mope and just commit never to use an appliance again!
Friday, September 24, 2010
supermom...NOT!
I feel like a failure! I have so many ideals, in so many areas...and I am not even coming close to achieving any of it. I guess some might say my expectations are too high. well, I am not happy with mediocrity and I don't want to just do what everyone else does. Jesus said we are to be set apart from the world...right?
I have this idea of what a wife and mother is supposed to do. and that idea is kind of a new revelation that I have gotten from trying to find out what God's plan for me is. but I fall so short of what I think He wants and I don't know how to fit into that mold. not only that, but I am trying to model it for my daughters and, again, I fall short. and though this is sounding very self pitying and depressing right now, I am not trying to be very "poor me" about the whole thing. I am really trying to figure out what to do.
I want to be a good wife, a help meet. I want to be a Proverbs 31 wife who rises early and stays up late, who makes good decisions and manages her household well. But I have very little energy and though I feel like my motivation is there, because I do want to be that good, it must not be since I can't find the energy to get off the couch and clean or cook or all the millions of other tasks that need done.
Oh I do cook, and sometimes well. but not all the time. and I do clean up, when we are having company. but not consistently. that is the problem. I can do it for a little while, but not consistently.
I read my bible or do a devotions or study, for a while...then I lose it. and the kids get Bible teaching and family devotions, sometimes. but that is so not the example I want to set. I want to raise my kids to love God and obey him and know in their hearts it is right! so why can't I?
And I wanted more kids, it is an ache on my heart. I would love a baby again. I would also love to adopt. but neither is an option because my husband says no. I wish he had the same philosophy I do, to let God decide. I feel like he is wrong to not let God have control. he sees it as being a good steward by not having more. But I know he also doesn't think I can handle it. I think, if I were a better house keeper and better at not losing my temper with the kids, maybe he would change his mind.
I want to be a godly wife, and obey my husband, but it makes me feel like I get no say in anything, and that what I think doesn't matter. and I feel guilty for thinking this way. is this just my sinful human nature?
well, mostly this is written to get my feelings out. to have a place to express it where I won't be judged for how I feel. I don't feel like I can talk to him about most of the things that I want, he just doesn't understand me.
I love him, and he loves me, and he is a good provider...I just wish we saw eye to eye on some stuff.and I wish I could be better, so he would be proud of me.
I have this idea of what a wife and mother is supposed to do. and that idea is kind of a new revelation that I have gotten from trying to find out what God's plan for me is. but I fall so short of what I think He wants and I don't know how to fit into that mold. not only that, but I am trying to model it for my daughters and, again, I fall short. and though this is sounding very self pitying and depressing right now, I am not trying to be very "poor me" about the whole thing. I am really trying to figure out what to do.
I want to be a good wife, a help meet. I want to be a Proverbs 31 wife who rises early and stays up late, who makes good decisions and manages her household well. But I have very little energy and though I feel like my motivation is there, because I do want to be that good, it must not be since I can't find the energy to get off the couch and clean or cook or all the millions of other tasks that need done.
Oh I do cook, and sometimes well. but not all the time. and I do clean up, when we are having company. but not consistently. that is the problem. I can do it for a little while, but not consistently.
I read my bible or do a devotions or study, for a while...then I lose it. and the kids get Bible teaching and family devotions, sometimes. but that is so not the example I want to set. I want to raise my kids to love God and obey him and know in their hearts it is right! so why can't I?
And I wanted more kids, it is an ache on my heart. I would love a baby again. I would also love to adopt. but neither is an option because my husband says no. I wish he had the same philosophy I do, to let God decide. I feel like he is wrong to not let God have control. he sees it as being a good steward by not having more. But I know he also doesn't think I can handle it. I think, if I were a better house keeper and better at not losing my temper with the kids, maybe he would change his mind.
I want to be a godly wife, and obey my husband, but it makes me feel like I get no say in anything, and that what I think doesn't matter. and I feel guilty for thinking this way. is this just my sinful human nature?
well, mostly this is written to get my feelings out. to have a place to express it where I won't be judged for how I feel. I don't feel like I can talk to him about most of the things that I want, he just doesn't understand me.
I love him, and he loves me, and he is a good provider...I just wish we saw eye to eye on some stuff.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
HAPPY FALL!!!
Oh I am so excited it is finally fall. this is my favorite time of year! I love the pumpkin spice frappuccinos at Starbucks, I love pumpkin bread and soup and cool weather and colors on the trees and in my yard. An there is the snow...the first snow of the year is so magical.
I am such a little kid when it comes to this time of year. Between now and Christmas I am perfectly giddy!
We haven't been doing much formal learning around here lately. Bren is working the swing shift (2-10pm) and so our schedule is a bit off. We get up and hang out with dad for a while. I do any errands that need to be done with none or some of the kids, or else Bren does some business he can't usually do after work on rental houses, or some project around our house. Then the kids play more with dad and I make lunch or clean something. Dad heads to work after lunch and we read some books or do a computer game (educational of course). There is some book work, but not much :) and then some outside play, dinner and a movie before bed. And bed is a hard adjustment. I am not used to doing it alone.
So tomorrow will make it two weeks we have been on this schedule. And there is one week to go. Then he should get back to normal hours and we can get back into our normal routine. It has been interesting, and we are managing fine (better then if he was on the midnight shift) but still, I don't care for it and want normal hours back. Luckily he get the weekend off, last weekend he had to work Sunday.
Anyway, we are reading The Bronze Bow, doing art projects, decorating for fall, doing an online drawing class, baking cookies and muffins. then there is math, which I am trying to do with some "living" books and games, and they are reading some nature readers, some books on the senses, we read about China and planets. I guess things are progressing along. I think it is good to write this stuff out because when you are taking the life learning approach, it is easy to think you aren't doing any "school work".
well, that's all for now, but again I say HAPPY FALL!!
I am such a little kid when it comes to this time of year. Between now and Christmas I am perfectly giddy!
We haven't been doing much formal learning around here lately. Bren is working the swing shift (2-10pm) and so our schedule is a bit off. We get up and hang out with dad for a while. I do any errands that need to be done with none or some of the kids, or else Bren does some business he can't usually do after work on rental houses, or some project around our house. Then the kids play more with dad and I make lunch or clean something. Dad heads to work after lunch and we read some books or do a computer game (educational of course). There is some book work, but not much :) and then some outside play, dinner and a movie before bed. And bed is a hard adjustment. I am not used to doing it alone.
So tomorrow will make it two weeks we have been on this schedule. And there is one week to go. Then he should get back to normal hours and we can get back into our normal routine. It has been interesting, and we are managing fine (better then if he was on the midnight shift) but still, I don't care for it and want normal hours back. Luckily he get the weekend off, last weekend he had to work Sunday.
Anyway, we are reading The Bronze Bow, doing art projects, decorating for fall, doing an online drawing class, baking cookies and muffins. then there is math, which I am trying to do with some "living" books and games, and they are reading some nature readers, some books on the senses, we read about China and planets. I guess things are progressing along. I think it is good to write this stuff out because when you are taking the life learning approach, it is easy to think you aren't doing any "school work".
well, that's all for now, but again I say HAPPY FALL!!
Friday, August 20, 2010
life learning and being a morning person
we have read books on the Civil War this summer and they have been very interesting. over the next few weeks we will start in on some more "core" subjects. I am a huge fan of life learning and not starting or stopping for the "school year" (or even a "school day"). I want there to be no difference in living our life, and learning. I love this post and the book mentioned. I don't always know how to make sure math is worked in to that style, or even if it should be (in the traditional school sense).
I want my home to be permeated with Christ...past that it doesn't matter. I want the kids to read quality character building literature and know God's history of the world. this is what I have always wanted, but when you are trained to "do school", it is hard to change the mindset of it needing to be like how I did it in school. (I so wanted to be homeschooled, but my mom didn't want to. I think she would have been great at it.)
Anyway, what I am saying is that if the mindset of "school" is ingrained in us, because it's all we have known, then it is hard to grasp a different way of doing things, a different way to learn. My husband has a hard time grasping this different style of learning. He sees it as us not doing anything, because we don't have scheduled math time and desks with a black board and all that. And it's hard for me too, because I tend to go to the school model first and then as I think things through I realize that isn't what I want. This post is feeling rambley, and I am not sure I am making a point...
I guess I want us to have a very biblical model, where the disciples learned from being with Jesus. I want my kids to learn just by being with me. not planned grammar lesson, no recess and summer vacation. Just us living together and learning about God and life.
Unfortunately, that feels very much like doing nothing. So we have our grammar books and our math lessons. we read a lot, though not all the kids like it or like certain books chosen. The kids like tv and they like video games and they like the computer (who am I kidding, I like the computer too). And sometimes those things can become cumbersome to our learning. They become rewards for "getting through" our "school". and more often then I care to admit, my example is just that, "getting through" cooking, dishes, bedtime just so I can have my computer or tv time.
I want to have a more simple, quiet, flowing day, where learning just comes with being together, but I realize more then ever that that doesn't happen by itself. I have to purposely be about making learning opportunities in our day. And one thing I feel convicted of lately is getting up earlier. I am not a morning person and it is hard for me to get going, so usually the kids get their own breakfast and I sleep in.
But I know my day will be more smooth and I will have the energy to make good choices with my day as well as set a good example for my kids if I get up and spend time in the Word and get breakfast for the family. So that is my new goal.
Now for the hard part...implementing it. Because here is the thing, I am sinful and human and I want to sleep and I have a toddler who still doesn't sleep through the night, and she still comes to bed to nurse and if she has fallen asleep in my bed by morning, then why would I set and alarm to get up with the prospect of it waking her too? I better just sleep while she is sleeping. Boy I am good at this excuse thing!
I am still not 100% sure how to go about this, because more often then not, she is in my bed. And getting up early is kind of defeated if the whole house wakes up with me. And all but one of my kids are morning people too...which means I have to get up REALLY early to beat them! Which doesn't make this any easier of a trick...so I need to pray and I need to just implement a schedule and then see how it works and be willing to change it if needed. That is the only way to go.
(I will also post soon about that pesky tv/video game/computer problem)
I want my home to be permeated with Christ...past that it doesn't matter. I want the kids to read quality character building literature and know God's history of the world. this is what I have always wanted, but when you are trained to "do school", it is hard to change the mindset of it needing to be like how I did it in school. (I so wanted to be homeschooled, but my mom didn't want to. I think she would have been great at it.)
Anyway, what I am saying is that if the mindset of "school" is ingrained in us, because it's all we have known, then it is hard to grasp a different way of doing things, a different way to learn. My husband has a hard time grasping this different style of learning. He sees it as us not doing anything, because we don't have scheduled math time and desks with a black board and all that. And it's hard for me too, because I tend to go to the school model first and then as I think things through I realize that isn't what I want. This post is feeling rambley, and I am not sure I am making a point...
I guess I want us to have a very biblical model, where the disciples learned from being with Jesus. I want my kids to learn just by being with me. not planned grammar lesson, no recess and summer vacation. Just us living together and learning about God and life.
Unfortunately, that feels very much like doing nothing. So we have our grammar books and our math lessons. we read a lot, though not all the kids like it or like certain books chosen. The kids like tv and they like video games and they like the computer (who am I kidding, I like the computer too). And sometimes those things can become cumbersome to our learning. They become rewards for "getting through" our "school". and more often then I care to admit, my example is just that, "getting through" cooking, dishes, bedtime just so I can have my computer or tv time.
I want to have a more simple, quiet, flowing day, where learning just comes with being together, but I realize more then ever that that doesn't happen by itself. I have to purposely be about making learning opportunities in our day. And one thing I feel convicted of lately is getting up earlier. I am not a morning person and it is hard for me to get going, so usually the kids get their own breakfast and I sleep in.
But I know my day will be more smooth and I will have the energy to make good choices with my day as well as set a good example for my kids if I get up and spend time in the Word and get breakfast for the family. So that is my new goal.
Now for the hard part...implementing it. Because here is the thing, I am sinful and human and I want to sleep and I have a toddler who still doesn't sleep through the night, and she still comes to bed to nurse and if she has fallen asleep in my bed by morning, then why would I set and alarm to get up with the prospect of it waking her too? I better just sleep while she is sleeping. Boy I am good at this excuse thing!
I am still not 100% sure how to go about this, because more often then not, she is in my bed. And getting up early is kind of defeated if the whole house wakes up with me. And all but one of my kids are morning people too...which means I have to get up REALLY early to beat them! Which doesn't make this any easier of a trick...so I need to pray and I need to just implement a schedule and then see how it works and be willing to change it if needed. That is the only way to go.
(I will also post soon about that pesky tv/video game/computer problem)
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
busy
that is the only word that describes our summer...busy! I thought July would be quieter, but we still had trips to see my parents in Wyoming and we finished the summer reading program and I had a girls weekend away with some friends...phew!
then to start off this month we went to a family reunion event in Beulah, CO and it was so fun!! but again, wow...more travelling! And later this month Brendan has his business trip, then we go camping Labor Day weekend.
so, I have maintained some weight loss this summer, but haven't lost any more. I guess that is good and bad. I am so glad I didn't gain it all back (and more) but disappointed I couldn't lose more. I have had these busy times which I would have thought would lead to some lose, but I think since all the busy times are us travelling, we eat out a lot and so then when we are home and eating well, I am so tired I am not very active!
and so I am just plugging along and trying my best to stay balanced. I do need to move more though!
So, back to it! Today I am 274.6lbs. not much has changed in my eating philosophy...so I need to get moving. I will post later on some ideas I have for doing so.
then to start off this month we went to a family reunion event in Beulah, CO and it was so fun!! but again, wow...more travelling! And later this month Brendan has his business trip, then we go camping Labor Day weekend.
so, I have maintained some weight loss this summer, but haven't lost any more. I guess that is good and bad. I am so glad I didn't gain it all back (and more) but disappointed I couldn't lose more. I have had these busy times which I would have thought would lead to some lose, but I think since all the busy times are us travelling, we eat out a lot and so then when we are home and eating well, I am so tired I am not very active!
and so I am just plugging along and trying my best to stay balanced. I do need to move more though!
So, back to it! Today I am 274.6lbs. not much has changed in my eating philosophy...so I need to get moving. I will post later on some ideas I have for doing so.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
crazy dayz of summer
WOW! this has been one whirlwind of a month! We have been travelling so much this month with 2 camping trips, an out of state wedding and some time at a mountain condo with family...boy am I tired!
We just got back from most of that being in this last week, so I am beat and trying to get back into my routines. Lots of laundry to do and library books to return, and we are back to our Civil war book study as well. It's going great!
I still have lots to do in the next month for our summer school, but lots less travel. I will probably take a trip to see some girlfriends for a couple of days, but that is it. The rest of the time we are going to do some swimming, relaxing, reading for the summer reading program and just be together.
now I'm off to pull weeds, switch laundry and make a grocery run! guess the crazyness continues! :)
We just got back from most of that being in this last week, so I am beat and trying to get back into my routines. Lots of laundry to do and library books to return, and we are back to our Civil war book study as well. It's going great!
I still have lots to do in the next month for our summer school, but lots less travel. I will probably take a trip to see some girlfriends for a couple of days, but that is it. The rest of the time we are going to do some swimming, relaxing, reading for the summer reading program and just be together.
now I'm off to pull weeds, switch laundry and make a grocery run! guess the crazyness continues! :)
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
weigh in and summer school
wow, I haven't done a regular Tuesday morning weigh in in quite a while. I have had quite a spring! Lots going on and lots to think about, that my weigh loss has gotten pushed to a back burner. not totally lost, but definitely not been my focus with my grandmother's death and funeral and the vacations we took just before that. WOW!
Well, though I gained during vacation, I have lost 3.6 of those pounds since the last time I weighed in. Though it has been a couple of weeks, I am thankful for a step in the right direction. I am hoping to focus more on my eating and exercising again now that things are shifting to a slower pace as summer approaches.
We school through the summer so there will be no last day, but we are finishing up some things that we won't continue in the summer. My daughter (10) will finish up some math and language books this week. My son (12) will do math through the summer because we have had some struggles with getting him to do the work without checking the back of the book for answers. Then we will all do a Civil war book study over the summer. I am very excited about it and so grateful for that resource. Unfortunately we can't go visit the sites like they can, but my parents are going back east to some of those areas and I asked them to grab photos, postcards or other fun things if they can. I ordered many of the books from the library and am choosing to buy a few that I think would be good contributions to our library here at home. I have adapted some of the readings for my ages, as my oldest is only 12. I will be reading Uncle Tom's cabin, but most likely I won't be reading it to them. I am using mostly the everyone, littles and middles books. I am also adding the American girl Addy books since my daughter has them, hasn't read them yet, and loves the series.
I am hoping this will be a fun study at a slow easy pace. we will also be camping some this summer as well as swimming at my grandfather's pool.
see what others weighed in at, and what they are thankful for
Well, though I gained during vacation, I have lost 3.6 of those pounds since the last time I weighed in. Though it has been a couple of weeks, I am thankful for a step in the right direction. I am hoping to focus more on my eating and exercising again now that things are shifting to a slower pace as summer approaches.
We school through the summer so there will be no last day, but we are finishing up some things that we won't continue in the summer. My daughter (10) will finish up some math and language books this week. My son (12) will do math through the summer because we have had some struggles with getting him to do the work without checking the back of the book for answers. Then we will all do a Civil war book study over the summer. I am very excited about it and so grateful for that resource. Unfortunately we can't go visit the sites like they can, but my parents are going back east to some of those areas and I asked them to grab photos, postcards or other fun things if they can. I ordered many of the books from the library and am choosing to buy a few that I think would be good contributions to our library here at home. I have adapted some of the readings for my ages, as my oldest is only 12. I will be reading Uncle Tom's cabin, but most likely I won't be reading it to them. I am using mostly the everyone, littles and middles books. I am also adding the American girl Addy books since my daughter has them, hasn't read them yet, and loves the series.
I am hoping this will be a fun study at a slow easy pace. we will also be camping some this summer as well as swimming at my grandfather's pool.
see what others weighed in at, and what they are thankful for
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Mother's Day loss
My grandmother died on mother's day. I got a call as I was ditching church, laying in bed reading and painting my nails. My parent's said she wasn't breathing well, that's all they knew. She had been in a nursing home for two years and was doing just fine. (we found out later she choked on some food, aspirated and there was a DNR so they couldn't do anything for her) But I knew I had to go to her. I thought I would make it. I dressed, packed a bag and waited for my husband to get home from church. Then I drove 2 hours to where she was in the nursing home. When I arrived I was still sure I'd made it in time. As I walked up to the building one of my cousins was coming out and she told me it was too late. I cried. I couldn't believe I missed her. I went to her room where my aunts and uncle were around her bed and I had missed it by five minutes. I sobbed! I was present when my maternal grandmother passed away and somehow it was important to me to be here too. but I was late. I kept going over it in my head, if I had not waited for my husband to come home, or if I had not stopped to fill up a water bottle before I left, or if I had sped, or taken a different route, what if I hadn't stopped for lunch on my way? I sobbed and sobbed.
My Grammy was 90 years old. She had been getting progressively more senile for 10 years, the last few were the worst. There was such a conflict in me over her well being and my parents which I wrote about here. But to know she is gone, it is so final. I have had such a torrent of emotion over the last week and a half. Her funeral was on Friday. We went to Pueblo and stayed a few nights in a hotel. we should have stayed with my cousin, but we hadn't seen each other in 10 years and it seemed weird. In retrospect we should have just done it. But it was great to be with family. To reconnect with them. I am so sentimental and sappy. I love them and was glad to be with them, even if it took this sad time to bring us together.
I miss my Grammy. I have missed her for a long time. But it is final and she is gone, and I have been feeling like I don't have enough memories, enough pictures, and I just want to hang on so tightly to the ones I have. I am overwhelmed with my emotion and distress of the last week and then I go a day with out crying and I wonder if I have forgotten. Or I feel cold and uncaring that I can't cry today.
I was so blessed to be loved by her. And I never want her forgotten!
My Grammy was 90 years old. She had been getting progressively more senile for 10 years, the last few were the worst. There was such a conflict in me over her well being and my parents which I wrote about here. But to know she is gone, it is so final. I have had such a torrent of emotion over the last week and a half. Her funeral was on Friday. We went to Pueblo and stayed a few nights in a hotel. we should have stayed with my cousin, but we hadn't seen each other in 10 years and it seemed weird. In retrospect we should have just done it. But it was great to be with family. To reconnect with them. I am so sentimental and sappy. I love them and was glad to be with them, even if it took this sad time to bring us together.
I miss my Grammy. I have missed her for a long time. But it is final and she is gone, and I have been feeling like I don't have enough memories, enough pictures, and I just want to hang on so tightly to the ones I have. I am overwhelmed with my emotion and distress of the last week and then I go a day with out crying and I wonder if I have forgotten. Or I feel cold and uncaring that I can't cry today.
Saturday, May 08, 2010
TWO
WOW~ it has been two whole years since we welcomed this little miracle into our family. At the time I knew she'd be the last. Right now she still is, though with each passing day, as I see her growing up, I long for another baby to hold. As she runs farther from me and spends more time playing big kid games, I remember the early days and how tiny she was (though she was my biggest at 10lbs 13oz). I want more babies, but I haven't convinced my husband of that :) and so for now I have to watch as my baby learns to climb and jump, as she mimics older siblings and asserts her independence. She is such a joy! Her smile lights up a room and when she laughs, you can't help but laugh along...it is truly contagious.
Two years has flown by. I am so blessed that I get to be her mom. I don't feel worthy of it.
Two years has flown by. I am so blessed that I get to be her mom. I don't feel worthy of it.
Happy Birthday Emma!
Thursday, May 06, 2010
weighing in after vacation
Well, we went on vacation for almost 2 weeks and I gained a little over 5 lbs! I was afraid it would happen. See, this is the part of this journey that is hardest for me to wrap my mind around...eating with other people who eat the SAD (Standard American Diet). I don't eat that way anymore. And though I am losing slowly, I am losing. We eat differently but when we are with family we have to eat what they are eating, mostly processed foods with a slew of artificial preservatives, colors and flavors. I know we can't be perfect all the time, but after eating that way for almost 2 weeks, it did reek some havoc on my body and I gained weight. And WOW did I feel horrible. I felt bloated and irritable and sluggish. I had forgotten. Oh and since there were 3 birthdays celebrated in that time, I at so much store bought cake full of nasty ingredients, but let me tell you, after the very first bite, I craved it! I couldn't get enough of that frosting! I really made myself sick on it. bleck!
So, this week I am happily back to eating well now that we are home. It has been hard because I am coming off that processed stuff and kind of detoxing. I have had a headache and felt kind of tired this week, but am so glad to be back on real food!.
I have more trips with family coming up this summer. They will be shorter, but I still worry about the food. I don't like feeling like my body is on this roller coaster, and I don't like gaining weight so quickly that it took me so long to lose. I wish I knew how to balance this better. How to be around people who don't eat this way, and not offend them, but eat better. And it isn't really about educating them on the subject (though I'd like to spread my knowledge) but it is about not losing ground in my journey and keeping my body functioning at it's best.
but for now I will just get back to normal and hope my body will release those pounds quicker this time.
So, this week I am happily back to eating well now that we are home. It has been hard because I am coming off that processed stuff and kind of detoxing. I have had a headache and felt kind of tired this week, but am so glad to be back on real food!.
I have more trips with family coming up this summer. They will be shorter, but I still worry about the food. I don't like feeling like my body is on this roller coaster, and I don't like gaining weight so quickly that it took me so long to lose. I wish I knew how to balance this better. How to be around people who don't eat this way, and not offend them, but eat better. And it isn't really about educating them on the subject (though I'd like to spread my knowledge) but it is about not losing ground in my journey and keeping my body functioning at it's best.
but for now I will just get back to normal and hope my body will release those pounds quicker this time.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
weighing in and eating in
So, I am down another 1.2 lbs this week. I have eaten pretty well, probably too much chocolate, but I feel like my body feels different this week. When my husband rubs my back he says my skin feels smoother (maybe less fat underneath?) I feel like my belly hangs different. (TMI?) It's a good thing. I still would like it to be going faster because no one else will see results for quite a while, but I know I am working in the right direction. See Eclipsed for more weigh ins
I really am excited about this ecourse I have been taking. I have done some of the things before, like cooking my own beans (though I never soaked them first which I do now) and I have made stock and cooked chicken before but I am learning traditional methods of doing things which is so much more healthy, and so much more the way I believe God wanted us to eat. I am really happy about the direction I am going with food, my family is doing ok with the changes. I think the hardest part really is planning ahead to make sure there are enough snacks for the kids (I have a 12 year old with a hollow leg) and to make sure I have meat thawed etc, because there's no McD if I didn't pull it together. We are done with that.
I am a bit concerned about us travelling at the end of the month. I don't want to resort to eating out as we go just because it is easier. I am going to try to plan as much for the car as possible. I will write about that next week as I plan ahead and cook ahead. The other concern I have is that we are visiting family and of course will be eating the standard processed food they fix, which of course is not what I prefer. But, I guess it is a small time and since we don't eat like that often, hopefully it will be fine.
I really am excited about this ecourse I have been taking. I have done some of the things before, like cooking my own beans (though I never soaked them first which I do now) and I have made stock and cooked chicken before but I am learning traditional methods of doing things which is so much more healthy, and so much more the way I believe God wanted us to eat. I am really happy about the direction I am going with food, my family is doing ok with the changes. I think the hardest part really is planning ahead to make sure there are enough snacks for the kids (I have a 12 year old with a hollow leg) and to make sure I have meat thawed etc, because there's no McD if I didn't pull it together. We are done with that.
I am a bit concerned about us travelling at the end of the month. I don't want to resort to eating out as we go just because it is easier. I am going to try to plan as much for the car as possible. I will write about that next week as I plan ahead and cook ahead. The other concern I have is that we are visiting family and of course will be eating the standard processed food they fix, which of course is not what I prefer. But, I guess it is a small time and since we don't eat like that often, hopefully it will be fine.
Tuesday, April 06, 2010
weigh in
I lost another pound this week. I was starting to think that this is taking forever and I wish, as I watch the Biggest Loser contestants melt away, that I could do something dramatic. But in the end, I know I am making lifestyle changes over this time that will last. And I don't have the extra time in my current life to work on dramatic anyway. And also, it IS going down, consistently, and with out much real work, so I tell ya, I'm not complaining one bit! See how others are doing here.
Monday, April 05, 2010
Spring Fever
I almost feel like we should be on summer vacation. The weather isn't great, though it is warm and sunny, but the wind is whipping and it has a nip to it for sure. But I am feeling lazy these days. Maybe it is just recovering from the illnesses in the last few weeks, but I don't feel like doing school work. I just want to sit and play with bubbles and I really want to plant some flowers (though they will freeze if I do it this early), or maybe read a book and I certainly don't want to finish the spring cleaning or the laundry. I don't want to think about lesson plans or any plans for that matter. I just want to do nothing. I am not feeling particularly sad or depressed or grumpy, just lazy. I sound like I am naming dwarfs here.
But, I have made the kids do a little work today. They have done their core subjects even though I was half hearted in my attempt to make it sound meaningful. I have been going full force though for a while with our American history unit study, and I think maybe I am a bit burnt out. I still have a few lessons left in it as well. And I do plan on getting to them this week and maybe a bit into next to finish it up. And I really wanted to get to the Civil War this school year, though right now I am contemplating rescheduling it for another time.
Whatever shall I do.... I think I will go pour myself a glass of sun tea and think on it a bit more...
But, I have made the kids do a little work today. They have done their core subjects even though I was half hearted in my attempt to make it sound meaningful. I have been going full force though for a while with our American history unit study, and I think maybe I am a bit burnt out. I still have a few lessons left in it as well. And I do plan on getting to them this week and maybe a bit into next to finish it up. And I really wanted to get to the Civil War this school year, though right now I am contemplating rescheduling it for another time.
Whatever shall I do.... I think I will go pour myself a glass of sun tea and think on it a bit more...
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
weighing in
so I am down a little this week to 276.2. that is 1.4 down from last week YAY! but I will say that I had a wierd stomach bug last week which, well, may have helped. I ate fine, felt fine the first half of the week but had to use the bathroom lots! all week! so by the end of the week I was pretty drained...litterally! LOL (I know, tmi)
anyway, I felt better over the weekend only to wake up monday morning about 3 with a croupy little girl! will it ever end? I feel like it may not. It has been a rough couple of nights (and days aren't that easy either) of sitting in a steamy shower with a fevery, croupy girl who really, couldn't breath well, and maybe we really should have taken her to the ER. We almost did. But each time we sat in the shower she was better so I held onto that. Oh and did I mention it's 70 degrees? boy am I hot and sweaty and in need of an actual shower!
Today she seems a bit better, lower fever and coughing more up and breathing easier for sure! I hope the worst is behind us and I really hope no one else gets it!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have managed to get some laundry done and cleaned up the kitchen a bit and made some bread even! I am making this for dinner and serving over soaked rice with a salad. And if you want to see how anyone elses weight loss is going check here.
anyway, I felt better over the weekend only to wake up monday morning about 3 with a croupy little girl! will it ever end? I feel like it may not. It has been a rough couple of nights (and days aren't that easy either) of sitting in a steamy shower with a fevery, croupy girl who really, couldn't breath well, and maybe we really should have taken her to the ER. We almost did. But each time we sat in the shower she was better so I held onto that. Oh and did I mention it's 70 degrees? boy am I hot and sweaty and in need of an actual shower!
Today she seems a bit better, lower fever and coughing more up and breathing easier for sure! I hope the worst is behind us and I really hope no one else gets it!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have managed to get some laundry done and cleaned up the kitchen a bit and made some bread even! I am making this for dinner and serving over soaked rice with a salad. And if you want to see how anyone elses weight loss is going check here.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
weigh in: the one where everything stays the same...again
Does anyone even check on me anymore? I have been pretty boring. Sorry. Not losing (but thankfully not gaining). Yup. 277.6 lbs still. Don't get me wrong, I didn't gain anything and that is nothing to sneeze at considering I am not actively exercising or really doing anything different in my diet except eating better fats (butter and coconut oil) and homemade food (a lot of it prepared in a traditional method according to this book). And I am doing this awesome ecourse!!
I have made some very yummy things in the last couple of weeks. It is so easy though it does take some forethought. No throwing something together at the last minute. But I am enjoying learning the new methods and incorporating them into my normal routines. It's fun and I love that I am making the foods more nutritious for my family.
There is a soaked muffin recipe that I keep trying with different add ins. I am going to soak some flour and oats tonight to make the muffins tomorrow morning for breakfast, nothing like fresh hot muffins in the morning. I think tomorrow's will have some chopped up chocolate chips and some shredded coconut.
My family also really enjoyed the soaked pancakes and the homemade soaked pasta. I haven't made the soaked biscuits yet. Oh and let me tell you, I have been trying to make my family eat brown rice for years, no one likes it, we gag it down with some chicken and veggies once in a while, but it is a cheap bulk item I really would love us to eat more of. I have never been able to get it to taste good. It ends up still hard on the inside (or I burn it up with not enough water) or it has no flavor. Well, I made the soaked rice and it was SO good!! And my husband liked it too! and he always gags an obligatory bite down and wonders why we can't eat white rice. YAY for soaking and traditional foods!
Maybe I will get some motivation this week to exercise. I say that each week hoping it will be true... if yu want to see how others did this week check out Eclipsed.
I have made some very yummy things in the last couple of weeks. It is so easy though it does take some forethought. No throwing something together at the last minute. But I am enjoying learning the new methods and incorporating them into my normal routines. It's fun and I love that I am making the foods more nutritious for my family.
There is a soaked muffin recipe that I keep trying with different add ins. I am going to soak some flour and oats tonight to make the muffins tomorrow morning for breakfast, nothing like fresh hot muffins in the morning. I think tomorrow's will have some chopped up chocolate chips and some shredded coconut.
My family also really enjoyed the soaked pancakes and the homemade soaked pasta. I haven't made the soaked biscuits yet. Oh and let me tell you, I have been trying to make my family eat brown rice for years, no one likes it, we gag it down with some chicken and veggies once in a while, but it is a cheap bulk item I really would love us to eat more of. I have never been able to get it to taste good. It ends up still hard on the inside (or I burn it up with not enough water) or it has no flavor. Well, I made the soaked rice and it was SO good!! And my husband liked it too! and he always gags an obligatory bite down and wonders why we can't eat white rice. YAY for soaking and traditional foods!
Maybe I will get some motivation this week to exercise. I say that each week hoping it will be true... if yu want to see how others did this week check out Eclipsed.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
GREEN
I have not been too personally involved in our garden in years past. I am kind of a sedentary person and am a bit girly in the fact that I don't like dirt under my nails. But this year, in an effort to grow more of our food (which has been a goal of mine for a while) I am getting involved. I also hope that the added activity in my days will help with my weightloss lifestyle change.
So I will be out pulling weeds and watering, planting, raking and composting. I will have the kids help and we will do a gardening unit study along with it. I hope to post some pictures through out the process as well.
To start I will show you our plants we started inside so far...
It's mostly bell peppers at this point. We did start a few other seeds just for fun though none of them need to be started yet. I haven't gotten my tomatoes yet or they would be there as well. I hope they come soon because they should be started soon.
So that is how we are coming so far...to see how others are going green.
So I will be out pulling weeds and watering, planting, raking and composting. I will have the kids help and we will do a gardening unit study along with it. I hope to post some pictures through out the process as well.
To start I will show you our plants we started inside so far...
It's mostly bell peppers at this point. We did start a few other seeds just for fun though none of them need to be started yet. I haven't gotten my tomatoes yet or they would be there as well. I hope they come soon because they should be started soon.Here is our garden area (newly hoed though we will rototill before actually planting)
And here is the new compost area my husband built this weekend.
We have had bad luck in the past, maybe because we just weren't adding enough "brown" to our green. I am having a homeschool chuck-wagon dinner next week and will have some bales of hay to put out here in the compost after that. I also will send the kids out to turn it each day as well. They love playing with rotting food and worms :) We will also use the hay to mulch in between plants to keep moisture in and weeds down.
So that is how we are coming so far...to see how others are going green.
weigh in
so, I didn't get around to posting yesterday. We have been busy with getting over sickness, and had a field trip on Monday to the railroad museum and then my oldest ended up sick yesterday. It has been a roller coaster these last few weeks.
I am down .4 lbs from last week. Not terribly exciting, but I am thankful it isn't a gain. Exercising is still slow in coming but the good thing is that I am definately working more movement into my everyday tasks. I guess over the long haul that is the best thing to sustain a life change and not just a "diet". So while I''d love to be 25 lbs down now, I think the things I am doing are definately changing my lifestyle.
I am loving the ecourse I am taking and will hopefully have some time to post about it soon.
I am down .4 lbs from last week. Not terribly exciting, but I am thankful it isn't a gain. Exercising is still slow in coming but the good thing is that I am definately working more movement into my everyday tasks. I guess over the long haul that is the best thing to sustain a life change and not just a "diet". So while I''d love to be 25 lbs down now, I think the things I am doing are definately changing my lifestyle.
I am loving the ecourse I am taking and will hopefully have some time to post about it soon.
Tuesday, March 09, 2010
weigh in and life
Well, no loss or gain this week. I am not surprised, but a bit sad because I keep thinking I could be 20 lbs down by now if I would keep exercising. I am lazy.
so I am going to work on working out this week, AGAIN. I was unpacking a box in the storage room this week and found 2 workout videos that are old, but could serve to mix me up a bit from just riding my stationary bike (infrequently as it is). So we will see.
Good news is that my daughter Megan is doing much better and seems to be recovering from her food poisoning. I am so glad. I felt so bad!
And my 5 year old son Gabe had his speech evaluation today and I am a bit disappointed in the evaluation itself and am glad to hear she doesn't think he has a hearing problem (though she never acctually did a hearing test), but I am not sure she can do any more then I am doing myself at this point. SO, I am not sure what to do next...
so I am going to work on working out this week, AGAIN. I was unpacking a box in the storage room this week and found 2 workout videos that are old, but could serve to mix me up a bit from just riding my stationary bike (infrequently as it is). So we will see.
Good news is that my daughter Megan is doing much better and seems to be recovering from her food poisoning. I am so glad. I felt so bad!
And my 5 year old son Gabe had his speech evaluation today and I am a bit disappointed in the evaluation itself and am glad to hear she doesn't think he has a hearing problem (though she never acctually did a hearing test), but I am not sure she can do any more then I am doing myself at this point. SO, I am not sure what to do next...
Sunday, March 07, 2010
bad mom
So my 10 year old has food poisoning. A couple of weeks ago I made homemade mayo. That of course means raw eggs. I was fine because I used eggs that I believe are from better sources then most factory farmed eggs, so they would be safer and less likely contaminated. We ate the mayo, all of us in several dishes over several days and were fine. Well, almost 2 weeks later I went to use it and saw big red spots on it so I threw it out. Coincidentally, that same day Megan says she isn't feeling well, and starts throwing up and having diarrhea. I wondered ho we got the stomach flu when we hadn't been out to the store or park or museum or anything (usually you can tell where you where in the last few days that you might have caught a bug). We had been home all week!
I started to worry about everyone else getting sick, but had this nagging feeling about the mayo. So I asked if she had used it at all lately. She said yes in fact she had made herself a deviled egg two days before! I asked if it looked or smelled funny. She said there were some brown dots but she scooped around them!!!
Oh no! So I am confident that she has salmonella poisoning. I have done lots of research and it seems likely. She has been feeling bad for 4 days (though today she seems better) and no one else has gotten sick. I have been making her drink lots of fluids and I wish I had some homemade broth to give her. But I tried getting her to eat some yogurt, but she really doesn't want to eat much, most things make her nauseous and gag. But I got some probiotic pills and she seems to be able to take them fine.
I am thankful she seems to be getting better. I have never had food poisoning and no one else in the family has either. I have been a bit freaked out and I feel so bad. I should have paid attention and thrown it out after the recommended 3 days. I feel horrible that my baby is suffering. I hope that the fact that she hasn't thrown up since yesterday means she is on the mend.
I started to worry about everyone else getting sick, but had this nagging feeling about the mayo. So I asked if she had used it at all lately. She said yes in fact she had made herself a deviled egg two days before! I asked if it looked or smelled funny. She said there were some brown dots but she scooped around them!!!
Oh no! So I am confident that she has salmonella poisoning. I have done lots of research and it seems likely. She has been feeling bad for 4 days (though today she seems better) and no one else has gotten sick. I have been making her drink lots of fluids and I wish I had some homemade broth to give her. But I tried getting her to eat some yogurt, but she really doesn't want to eat much, most things make her nauseous and gag. But I got some probiotic pills and she seems to be able to take them fine.
I am thankful she seems to be getting better. I have never had food poisoning and no one else in the family has either. I have been a bit freaked out and I feel so bad. I should have paid attention and thrown it out after the recommended 3 days. I feel horrible that my baby is suffering. I hope that the fact that she hasn't thrown up since yesterday means she is on the mend.
Tuesday, March 02, 2010
weigh in
This week I have done ok with food, still not regularly exercising but definately moving more in my normal routines, and I lost 1.4 lbs! YAY! I think I mentioned last week that I am losing with so little effort, but I am losing so little at a time...I know if I put even a little effort into exercising I would see better results. I will work on that still, but at least the number is going in the right direction, even if I didn't lose my goal of 10 lbs this month. I need to kick it up a notch this month I think. I will aim for 10 lbs again this month.
See how Kris did...way to go!!
See how Kris did...way to go!!
Monday, March 01, 2010
weekly challenge #9
So, I am still plugging along, trying desperately to be motivated to exercise. But I am still moving forward toward health (I am especially excited about this course) and haven't given up so woohoo!
This week Kris is challenging us to get more sleep and add a fruit or veggie at every meal. Well, first, I have a nursing toddler and she does nurse at night. I try not to stay up past 10pm most nights, but sometimes if hubby and I want some extra alone time we will watch a movie til late. But, I am awake a lot during the night while I nurse. I am a big fan of letting kids wean themselves in their own time, so I won't stop this. I will say that it is getting better, she is sleeping longer these days (though usually still in our bed) but it does affect my sleep. I am sure that I could feel better if I was more consistently getting full nights sleep. But for now this will have to do.
I have been drinking green smoothies some mornings, not every morning, to get some extra veggies and fruits in my days. They are so good and I just made this heavenly one (I used milk instead of rice milk, and honey instead of agave) this morning.... it was that kind of morning :) the kids love this one and I didn't make enough...I may need to make more later :)
I am not a huge fan of salads, though I do eat them. I had wanted to do a salad for lunch every day when I started this but it hasn't been working. I was too hungry too soon after. I won't eat commercially marketed salad dressings as they are too high in artificial things I can't even pronounce. I need to learn to make my own but the things I have tried haven't turned out so well. So salads end up being tasteless and boring.
The kids and I do enjoy orange, yellow and red bell peppers. I can't find them organic this time of year around here, but I do buy some non organic since it's one of the only things we buy non organic ( along with the clementines I like to snack on). I try to have a frozen veggie my kids like at dinner every night. I can't wait til summer and farmers markets and our garden .... but for now we work in what we can.
Fruit is easier because it is sweet. This time of year we eat a lot of clementines and apples. I use a lot of frozen fruit in those smoothies I mentioned and if there is a sale on grapes like we had last week we stock up (though they were still gone in a few days) but is was a nice treat in this boring time of the food year.
So... good things happening in our food life.
This week Kris is challenging us to get more sleep and add a fruit or veggie at every meal. Well, first, I have a nursing toddler and she does nurse at night. I try not to stay up past 10pm most nights, but sometimes if hubby and I want some extra alone time we will watch a movie til late. But, I am awake a lot during the night while I nurse. I am a big fan of letting kids wean themselves in their own time, so I won't stop this. I will say that it is getting better, she is sleeping longer these days (though usually still in our bed) but it does affect my sleep. I am sure that I could feel better if I was more consistently getting full nights sleep. But for now this will have to do.
I have been drinking green smoothies some mornings, not every morning, to get some extra veggies and fruits in my days. They are so good and I just made this heavenly one (I used milk instead of rice milk, and honey instead of agave) this morning.... it was that kind of morning :) the kids love this one and I didn't make enough...I may need to make more later :)
I am not a huge fan of salads, though I do eat them. I had wanted to do a salad for lunch every day when I started this but it hasn't been working. I was too hungry too soon after. I won't eat commercially marketed salad dressings as they are too high in artificial things I can't even pronounce. I need to learn to make my own but the things I have tried haven't turned out so well. So salads end up being tasteless and boring.
The kids and I do enjoy orange, yellow and red bell peppers. I can't find them organic this time of year around here, but I do buy some non organic since it's one of the only things we buy non organic ( along with the clementines I like to snack on). I try to have a frozen veggie my kids like at dinner every night. I can't wait til summer and farmers markets and our garden .... but for now we work in what we can.
Fruit is easier because it is sweet. This time of year we eat a lot of clementines and apples. I use a lot of frozen fruit in those smoothies I mentioned and if there is a sale on grapes like we had last week we stock up (though they were still gone in a few days) but is was a nice treat in this boring time of the food year.
So... good things happening in our food life.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
being a grown up
Being a grown up is hard. Sometimes, many times, you have to make hard decisions. You have to deal with things that you'd rather not. I don't like being a grown up. Why is it that kids spend so much time trying to be more grown up. They don't know how good they've got it. I was like that. I couldn't wait to grow up and have babies. They have been a blessing. But sometimes I have had to make hard decisions, and it is then that I wish I hadn't grown up so fast. Like when I had to hand my 6 week old baby over to have surgery that I didn't think she'd come out of. Or when I pushed my son into a preschool classroom and had to stand on the other side and hold it closed to keep him in. And now, my 5 year old son is going to be evaluated by a speech therapist. I have known for a long time he needed it. I was trying to deny it. I have worked hard to try to help him overcome his speech issues with out outside help.
But it's time to be a grown up.
I don't know why it is so hard for me. I think part of it is that I don't want him to be stigmatized as different. He already is by the fact that he can't be understood by anyone outside of our family (and sometimes not even by us). But I don't want to admit there is a problem I guess. I know he is so smart, the things he comes up with... but he can't get it all out. His communication is lacking. He is so brilliant and funny and brave and kind hearted... I don't want to admit to his fault. I haven't wanted him to feel out of place by having to go and be tested and have people talk about his "disability" but as it stands, he has no friends because they can't understand him, and I can see it hurts his feelings.
So finally I have realized it is time to take further intervention. In 2 weeks he sees the speech therapist. I am nervous, for me and for him. He is shy around others (probably because of his impediment) and I worry he won't cooperate. I worry that treatment will be long and complicated and he will feel bad about himself, or that it won't be fixable... I know I need to wait and see. I can't jump to every possible conclusion... I need to relax and take it as we go. I know if I trust God I will be able to get through and do the right thing.
I guess that is another part of the problem... I wonder if I am making the right decision. My daughter came out of surgery and recovered and is a healthy 10 year old...I made the right decision. My son hated school and didn't want to go and life was miserable for all of us... the wrong decision (though I took him out a few weeks later and was so glad to have him back home where he belonged...the right decision) I don't know how this will turn out. I hope it will be the right decision, I hope it wasn't the wrong decision to wait this long. I only want what's best for my kids.
And sometimes I want to curl up in my mommy's lap and not have to be responsible for these other lives.
But it's time to be a grown up.
I don't know why it is so hard for me. I think part of it is that I don't want him to be stigmatized as different. He already is by the fact that he can't be understood by anyone outside of our family (and sometimes not even by us). But I don't want to admit there is a problem I guess. I know he is so smart, the things he comes up with... but he can't get it all out. His communication is lacking. He is so brilliant and funny and brave and kind hearted... I don't want to admit to his fault. I haven't wanted him to feel out of place by having to go and be tested and have people talk about his "disability" but as it stands, he has no friends because they can't understand him, and I can see it hurts his feelings.
So finally I have realized it is time to take further intervention. In 2 weeks he sees the speech therapist. I am nervous, for me and for him. He is shy around others (probably because of his impediment) and I worry he won't cooperate. I worry that treatment will be long and complicated and he will feel bad about himself, or that it won't be fixable... I know I need to wait and see. I can't jump to every possible conclusion... I need to relax and take it as we go. I know if I trust God I will be able to get through and do the right thing.
I guess that is another part of the problem... I wonder if I am making the right decision. My daughter came out of surgery and recovered and is a healthy 10 year old...I made the right decision. My son hated school and didn't want to go and life was miserable for all of us... the wrong decision (though I took him out a few weeks later and was so glad to have him back home where he belonged...the right decision) I don't know how this will turn out. I hope it will be the right decision, I hope it wasn't the wrong decision to wait this long. I only want what's best for my kids.
And sometimes I want to curl up in my mommy's lap and not have to be responsible for these other lives.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
weigh in, random stuff, and gratitude
well, I lost a pound this week. yay! I am now finally down .6 lbs from my original loss (because I gained a bit back). down to 279.4. So, I definitely know I need to exercise. I am just not making that a priority. I have done little things to improve my daily movement, which is good, but if I am going to really lose a big amount of weight, I am going to have to exercise. I feel like I have some valid reasons why it isn't being worked in, but they are just excuses and if I really wanted to make it work, I would.
So I am going to do the Biggest Loser cardio max 2-3 days a week and then ride our bike the other days, taking only Sundays off. See Kris for more weigh ins.
Oh and I am totally excited to be taking that ecourse I mentioned! I can't wait to learn about all the great natural, traditional ways to prepare food to make it more healthy and nutritious. I am working my budget to try and incorporate raw milk but I may not be able to quite yet. I am going to get a farm share of fruit and we are going to grow our own garden of veggies, I am going to get pastured eggs from a farm as well. I will blog a bit about that as I go. The course started this week and just talks about the basic definitions of natural and organic (according to the industry and according to God).
We are wrapping up our Revolutionary war unit this week and the kids are presenting a president report on Friday at our co-op. Then we will get into Lewis and Clark and the westward expansion of our country.
Oh and I made a sour dough starter this last week, from scratch! I made pancakes with it yesterday and they were great. I am making the bread today so I will let ya know how it comes out. I hear this is an art and it may not turn out the first time.
I haven't been blogging much on my spiritual journey as I had hoped. I had said at the beginning of the year one of my resolutions was to become closer to my Creator. I have been consumed with reading books, books about joy and God's love. I have loved them and have been feeling more joy in my life then I have in a long time. It is still mixed with days that I feel defeated. I think that satan wants to make me feel like that so I can't press on. But I am continuing to look up and know that God loves me even when I don't love myself. I still want to be better at doing my devotions. I don't spend enough time with God alone. But I am trusting him with some life situations and he is teaching me some things. And I am so grateful for that.
So I am going to do the Biggest Loser cardio max 2-3 days a week and then ride our bike the other days, taking only Sundays off. See Kris for more weigh ins.
Oh and I am totally excited to be taking that ecourse I mentioned! I can't wait to learn about all the great natural, traditional ways to prepare food to make it more healthy and nutritious. I am working my budget to try and incorporate raw milk but I may not be able to quite yet. I am going to get a farm share of fruit and we are going to grow our own garden of veggies, I am going to get pastured eggs from a farm as well. I will blog a bit about that as I go. The course started this week and just talks about the basic definitions of natural and organic (according to the industry and according to God).
We are wrapping up our Revolutionary war unit this week and the kids are presenting a president report on Friday at our co-op. Then we will get into Lewis and Clark and the westward expansion of our country.
Oh and I made a sour dough starter this last week, from scratch! I made pancakes with it yesterday and they were great. I am making the bread today so I will let ya know how it comes out. I hear this is an art and it may not turn out the first time.
I haven't been blogging much on my spiritual journey as I had hoped. I had said at the beginning of the year one of my resolutions was to become closer to my Creator. I have been consumed with reading books, books about joy and God's love. I have loved them and have been feeling more joy in my life then I have in a long time. It is still mixed with days that I feel defeated. I think that satan wants to make me feel like that so I can't press on. But I am continuing to look up and know that God loves me even when I don't love myself. I still want to be better at doing my devotions. I don't spend enough time with God alone. But I am trusting him with some life situations and he is teaching me some things. And I am so grateful for that.
Monday, February 22, 2010
challenge week 8
Wow, I have been on a roller coaster the last few weeks and have felt like I am going nowhere but back to where I started. But the fact is that I haven't gained back all the weight I lost (even though it wasn't much) and so I keep looking forward at what I can do next to make habit changes.
This week Kris issued the challenge of how to handle cravings. I don't think I have handled them too well in the last few weeks, but I have done better then ever before so that is a plus. First, I don't deprive myself. I have found that if I say "No chocolate" then the first thing I want is chocolate! So I do have some. I keep my favorite chocolate around but only have one or two squares and keeping it cold helps because it takes longer to eat, allowing for the feeling of indulging. I also discovered this smoothie and it is fabulous!! I use honey instead of agave but it really feels indulgent and I am getting all those great vitamins and nutrients and way less calories then lets say a Reece's pb cup. So that is working for me. I have a cookie if I have made the kids some (I may even have two) but I am not getting carried away, because I don't feel deprived.
The second thing in the challenge is doing strength training along with he cardio. I totally believe in this but haven't even found a way to work in exercise every day so I will keep it in mind as I get better at that.
Thanks for all the encouragement and great tips everyone!
This week Kris issued the challenge of how to handle cravings. I don't think I have handled them too well in the last few weeks, but I have done better then ever before so that is a plus. First, I don't deprive myself. I have found that if I say "No chocolate" then the first thing I want is chocolate! So I do have some. I keep my favorite chocolate around but only have one or two squares and keeping it cold helps because it takes longer to eat, allowing for the feeling of indulging. I also discovered this smoothie and it is fabulous!! I use honey instead of agave but it really feels indulgent and I am getting all those great vitamins and nutrients and way less calories then lets say a Reece's pb cup. So that is working for me. I have a cookie if I have made the kids some (I may even have two) but I am not getting carried away, because I don't feel deprived.
The second thing in the challenge is doing strength training along with he cardio. I totally believe in this but haven't even found a way to work in exercise every day so I will keep it in mind as I get better at that.
Thanks for all the encouragement and great tips everyone!
Saturday, February 20, 2010
perseverance
So over at Eclipsed, Kris asks every week if we have had a non scale victory (NSV). If you look back, I have been having some rough weeks. But I am sticking with it and still trying to actively reduce my portion sizes and put some more movement into my day. I think this week has been an improvement and I am feeling good about it even if it isn't going as fast or easy as I would like. Because over all health is the ultimate goal, with the weightloss being the perk. So, as long as I am changing habits, I am good.
I have chosen fruit this week, instead of cookies. I have also had cookies, but not the whole batch. I have gone up and down the stairs to do laundry instead of asking kids or husband to haul it for me. I have parked in the back of lots and walked to the store (my kids hate that). And I am working in more veggies.
I am pressing on. And that is victory.
I have chosen fruit this week, instead of cookies. I have also had cookies, but not the whole batch. I have gone up and down the stairs to do laundry instead of asking kids or husband to haul it for me. I have parked in the back of lots and walked to the store (my kids hate that). And I am working in more veggies.
I am pressing on. And that is victory.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
phew!
When I woke up this morning I decided that if I didn't weigh myself today, that I was essentially giving up. And I don't want to give up. I always give up. I want to make this work even if it takes a long time and is really hard. Even if I have set backs. I want to change the way I live. And so I got up and went to the scale.
And ya know what? 280.4 A pound down from last week. And with me feeling like I didn't work very hard at it this week, that is great! Of course I know if I worked even a little harder it would be more. I don't have to kill myself working out or deprive myself, I need to get that through my thick skull!!
And so I will keep on going, working in more movement and more veggies, and keeping a good attitude towards this process, that is my goal this week.
see how well Kris did!
And ya know what? 280.4 A pound down from last week. And with me feeling like I didn't work very hard at it this week, that is great! Of course I know if I worked even a little harder it would be more. I don't have to kill myself working out or deprive myself, I need to get that through my thick skull!!
And so I will keep on going, working in more movement and more veggies, and keeping a good attitude towards this process, that is my goal this week.
see how well Kris did!
Monday, February 15, 2010
humbug
I haven't been exercising and can't seem to find the motivation. I am grumpy and my toddler won't let me have 10 seconds to type here so I will just say that I didn't make it to buy the pedometer I was going to last week to complete the challenge from last week.
This week challenge one is not really something I can do. I mean, my goal food wise is for more natural foods, in their raw state as much as possible. But my emphasis isn't really on protein and good carbs. I don't necessarily believe that that approach is the best. My focus is on veggies, fruits and again, whole foods. I do eat meat, but not tons. My protein comes a lot from beans and some cheese, eggs and yogurt. I am playing with the idea of going raw for my milk, I just need to find the best way to work it into my budget. So maybe I will just challenge myself to up my veggies this week.
I already have lots of scripture posted around my house so I will think about what I can add to motivate me to exercise.
I may skip weigh in tomorrow and eat some truffles at the rate I am going. I need some kind of real kick in the pants to get me moving. I am not sure what it is but I was so gung ho a few weeks ago and like always I have fizzled out. I need to pray more and worry less. and here comes the toddler so I gotta go...
This week challenge one is not really something I can do. I mean, my goal food wise is for more natural foods, in their raw state as much as possible. But my emphasis isn't really on protein and good carbs. I don't necessarily believe that that approach is the best. My focus is on veggies, fruits and again, whole foods. I do eat meat, but not tons. My protein comes a lot from beans and some cheese, eggs and yogurt. I am playing with the idea of going raw for my milk, I just need to find the best way to work it into my budget. So maybe I will just challenge myself to up my veggies this week.
I already have lots of scripture posted around my house so I will think about what I can add to motivate me to exercise.
I may skip weigh in tomorrow and eat some truffles at the rate I am going. I need some kind of real kick in the pants to get me moving. I am not sure what it is but I was so gung ho a few weeks ago and like always I have fizzled out. I need to pray more and worry less. and here comes the toddler so I gotta go...
Tuesday, February 09, 2010
Food
Hmmm, where to start? well, I have a certain philosophy about things that is not really mainstream, hence the blog name. Well, the crux of that philosophy is the word natural. I have an evolving definition of what natural is. At first it meant just organic veggies and dairy, then it was grass fed meats and cloth diapers, then it was vinegar to clean with and ridding us of chemical laden skin care etc. I have dabbled in trying to get more items of food locally. We even moved to 39 acres in an attempt to try to live more naturally. (It was a terrible place that we chose and moved promptly back to the city).
But I continue to want to learn more. I really want to live in the way God intended. Naturally. That means no birth control, no hydrogenated oils or corn syrup, and I have been getting better. We aren't perfect, and I have mentioned my addiction to fast food. Well, I believe 100% that the reason for the addiction has nothing to do with the foods themselves but the process, chemicals, preservatives and altered things added as well as things subtracted...the nutrition! All in the name of "progress".
Anyway, I have been developing a sense of despair about being able to really live naturally. I mean, come on, I don't know where to get raw milk (since it is illegal) and I can go to a farmers market in the summer but where do I get my veggies today? I want to do these things but they take so much work, and money. I feel sometimes like I can't do it, and so we fall back into old habits and buying fake foods.
I believe every American needs to watch this film. I cry, really. I am so saddened by our countrys treatment of people (not to mention the animals). And like they said...we vote 3 times a day (probably most of us more). I want to be different so that our future and my kids' future is different.
It is interesting as I was hearing about the first Lady and her campaign to end obesity especially in children. The answer is in this film. EAT REAL FOOD! The epidemic is being caused by the fake stuff they pass off as food. It is addicting and it is dangerous.
I found this blog and I am late in coming but I have heard of Nourishing Traditions before and am now ready to start, but...it is overwhelming to know where to start. But I am going to try to catch up and see if I can double up on some of the challenges from this week and last. I am also considering taking this course. We will see how I do in the next week or so. But the philosophy expressed there is exactly how I feel and want to be.
SO, I am excited to really live well and locally and learn traditional cooking so that my family and hopefully future generations will be healthier and remember these dying art forms. And I can only imagine what it will do for my waist line :)
But I continue to want to learn more. I really want to live in the way God intended. Naturally. That means no birth control, no hydrogenated oils or corn syrup, and I have been getting better. We aren't perfect, and I have mentioned my addiction to fast food. Well, I believe 100% that the reason for the addiction has nothing to do with the foods themselves but the process, chemicals, preservatives and altered things added as well as things subtracted...the nutrition! All in the name of "progress".
Anyway, I have been developing a sense of despair about being able to really live naturally. I mean, come on, I don't know where to get raw milk (since it is illegal) and I can go to a farmers market in the summer but where do I get my veggies today? I want to do these things but they take so much work, and money. I feel sometimes like I can't do it, and so we fall back into old habits and buying fake foods.
I believe every American needs to watch this film. I cry, really. I am so saddened by our countrys treatment of people (not to mention the animals). And like they said...we vote 3 times a day (probably most of us more). I want to be different so that our future and my kids' future is different.
It is interesting as I was hearing about the first Lady and her campaign to end obesity especially in children. The answer is in this film. EAT REAL FOOD! The epidemic is being caused by the fake stuff they pass off as food. It is addicting and it is dangerous.
I found this blog and I am late in coming but I have heard of Nourishing Traditions before and am now ready to start, but...it is overwhelming to know where to start. But I am going to try to catch up and see if I can double up on some of the challenges from this week and last. I am also considering taking this course. We will see how I do in the next week or so. But the philosophy expressed there is exactly how I feel and want to be.
SO, I am excited to really live well and locally and learn traditional cooking so that my family and hopefully future generations will be healthier and remember these dying art forms. And I can only imagine what it will do for my waist line :)
It's dark under here
SO I guess this week while Holly is back on the wagon...I fell off. Maybe only so many people are allowed to be on the wagon at a time. There is only so much room? Does anyone know if that is the case? Hmmm, well, in any case, I think that everything went out the window. Exercise, eating well, my attitude....all fell down there under the wheels, where it is muddy and mucky. I think it may have something to do with a cute little neighbor girl who delivered some famous cookies to my door. Now, I will admit that it was me who bought and paid for said cookies two weeks ago, but I will now continue to blame her until they are all gone, (which at the rate I am going won't be long).
Or maybe it is because I spent the weekend at my parents' house. They eat things like J I F peanut butter on white bread and the "syrup" in a bottle shaped like a cabin. And my mom makes frosting for a birthday cake out of shortening! uggg! I keep trying to gently explain to them the dangers of these foods but they like them and so they continue. (and they wonder why they are always sick) They buy tons of precessed foods and it drives me nuts! My kids love it because they have pop tarts and honey nut o cereal and juice. I grew up like that. That may explain a lot! Anyway...
I gained 1.4 lbs this week. I was hoping to skip over that and maybe no one would notice I didn't post a weight this week. but I need to be accountable for this to work so I am being honest with you and myself. But...
I am going to pick it all back up, shake it off and try to climb back up on the wagon. And its hard, because it's still moving,. Life is still moving forward and I don't want to wait too long here in the muck or else it will pass me by, and I don't want to get another hundred pounds over weight before the next wagon comes along.
SOOOO....to that end, I am going to accept this challenge (#2) and I will aim for 6-8,000 steps because I think 10,000 on my first attempt to get moving might set me up for failure. But, as she mentions, purposefully adding more movement of any kind is a step in the right direction. I will say that I am not counting calories, though I do try to work in snacks evenly and they are healthy (usually). I really like those little cutie oranges as well as a handful of nuts.
I lift my morning smoothie...here's to a fresh start this week....back on the wagon.
Or maybe it is because I spent the weekend at my parents' house. They eat things like J I F peanut butter on white bread and the "syrup" in a bottle shaped like a cabin. And my mom makes frosting for a birthday cake out of shortening! uggg! I keep trying to gently explain to them the dangers of these foods but they like them and so they continue. (and they wonder why they are always sick) They buy tons of precessed foods and it drives me nuts! My kids love it because they have pop tarts and honey nut o cereal and juice.
I gained 1.4 lbs this week. I was hoping to skip over that and maybe no one would notice I didn't post a weight this week. but I need to be accountable for this to work so I am being honest with you and myself. But...
I am going to pick it all back up, shake it off and try to climb back up on the wagon. And its hard, because it's still moving,. Life is still moving forward and I don't want to wait too long here in the muck or else it will pass me by, and I don't want to get another hundred pounds over weight before the next wagon comes along.
SOOOO....to that end, I am going to accept this challenge (#2) and I will aim for 6-8,000 steps because I think 10,000 on my first attempt to get moving might set me up for failure. But, as she mentions, purposefully adding more movement of any kind is a step in the right direction. I will say that I am not counting calories, though I do try to work in snacks evenly and they are healthy (usually). I really like those little cutie oranges as well as a handful of nuts.
I lift my morning smoothie...here's to a fresh start this week....back on the wagon.
Tuesday, February 02, 2010
ummm, what?
Oh my goodness! I can't believe it!! I just weighed in and I have lost 1.4 lbs this week!!! I mentioned yesterday that I had a terrible week and I figured I would have gained. So, I am wondering if somehow my scale is broken or what am I doing right???? So that puts me at an even 280 today. With a weightloss of 7 lbs in a month (I think I have officially been at this for 4 weeks). Not the 10lbs I was hoping for but with the slacking I did last week and how slow I feel I am getting motivated, I'd say it's pretty good.
I also wanted to update on the weekly challenge from last week...I didn't do great this last week. I ate out once at the Bell. I didn't check calories at all but I also didn't over eat. And other then the online supporters, I don't have anyone on this journey with me in real life. My hubby is a great cheerleader though :)
This week's challenge is to change up my exercise. Well, I for sure need to make sure TO exercise LOL. I have been doing The Biggest Loser Cardio Max about every other day. I just got our stationary bike out and so I am going to mix in that this week. I haven't been able to go swimming yet because I have small children who can't be left alone and I don't do public childcare. So, that will have to wait until hubby can be home a few evenings at a predictable time so I can go do a water aerobics class.
And as for the breakfasts...well, I already really like the smoothies I have been doing ( great ideas here). But I also really like fresh fruit mixed with plain yogurt and drizzled with the tiniest bit of honey. I will work on eating these this week and snacking better so I keep up this loss.
My goal for the next month is going to be 10 lbs! Wish me luck :)
I also wanted to update on the weekly challenge from last week...I didn't do great this last week. I ate out once at the Bell. I didn't check calories at all but I also didn't over eat. And other then the online supporters, I don't have anyone on this journey with me in real life. My hubby is a great cheerleader though :)
This week's challenge is to change up my exercise. Well, I for sure need to make sure TO exercise LOL. I have been doing The Biggest Loser Cardio Max about every other day. I just got our stationary bike out and so I am going to mix in that this week. I haven't been able to go swimming yet because I have small children who can't be left alone and I don't do public childcare. So, that will have to wait until hubby can be home a few evenings at a predictable time so I can go do a water aerobics class.
And as for the breakfasts...well, I already really like the smoothies I have been doing ( great ideas here). But I also really like fresh fruit mixed with plain yogurt and drizzled with the tiniest bit of honey. I will work on eating these this week and snacking better so I keep up this loss.
My goal for the next month is going to be 10 lbs! Wish me luck :)
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Odds and Ends
I am just going to come out and say it...this week sucked! I just was feeling icky. Nothing in particular, just blah. I didn't exercise every day, I didn't eat well at all, and I have been pretty cranky. I just know I have gained back some weight and I am totally afraid to look. I don't officially weigh until Tuesday so I have a day to pull it together and see if I can reverse the damage. If I am lucky maybe I will at least maintain.
I need to get back to having smoothies for breakfast. I just feel like I am hungry within an hour of drinking it so I get discouraged. I know I need to just have an orange or some nuts to get me through, or more smoothie. It is way better then cookies or candy. But I just had an off week. I know it will happen, but it's early in this process, I expected to make it a bit farther.
Also, we are in the thick of the Revolution around here, I will try to take pictures and post a few this week. We are reading Johnny Tremain to go along with our study.
Oh, and I can't leave out the fact that LOST is back this week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I will have more to say about that later.
So, hopefully this will be a good week all the way around.
I need to get back to having smoothies for breakfast. I just feel like I am hungry within an hour of drinking it so I get discouraged. I know I need to just have an orange or some nuts to get me through, or more smoothie. It is way better then cookies or candy. But I just had an off week. I know it will happen, but it's early in this process, I expected to make it a bit farther.
Also, we are in the thick of the Revolution around here, I will try to take pictures and post a few this week. We are reading Johnny Tremain to go along with our study.
Oh, and I can't leave out the fact that LOST is back this week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I will have more to say about that later.
So, hopefully this will be a good week all the way around.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Resistance
So, my efforts to homeschool have been met with resistance lately. I am a bit frustrated with that. My kids have decided that they want to whine and fight me at every turn. I just got back from that great conference and though the main topic was finding joy in Christ, the underlying topics were about raising kids to see the joy of Christ by modeling it and of course by modeling grace and compassion and I totally feel guilty now for making anyone do anything they don't want to or for punishing any form of resistance because would that be showing the grace and mercy that Christ shows us when we resist his teachings?
I want to show my kids the same mercies God shows me. But I am not sure what that looks like. I know He doesn't want me to just let everything get crazy around here with no respect for others. So we talk about that and we make the kids apologize when they are mean and things, but when it comes to school, they resist. And it is constant. You would think after 5 and a half years we would know that this is how it is, but still no. There is argument. Especially from my 12 year old. He starts it. He thinks he doesn't have to do anything. And many people will probably tell me to let up, change it up a bit. Well, believe me, I do. When he seems bored with worksheets I grab a computer game, when he gets bored with that we use board games or story books, we use all sorts of different methods and still he refuses. I know it is a character issue. He even refused to do a bible study my husband wanted to do with just the two of them.
How do we rein this back in after apparently failing to train him to do these things up to this point? I mean, I never think I do a good job and of course think I have many failures but I thought we were doing a fine job of this character training.
I don't want a robot, but I also want respect. And I want my son to love to learn and he just pouts, does bare minimum and fights me all the way. (and, to be honest, my husband just yells at him and commands him to respect and obey his mom. well, it's not working and I don't think that is the right approach.)
this is just a rant. I have heard it all from my support group moms, but if anyone has a fresh idea, I'd love to hear it....especially if you've had a difficult 12 year old :)
I want to show my kids the same mercies God shows me. But I am not sure what that looks like. I know He doesn't want me to just let everything get crazy around here with no respect for others. So we talk about that and we make the kids apologize when they are mean and things, but when it comes to school, they resist. And it is constant. You would think after 5 and a half years we would know that this is how it is, but still no. There is argument. Especially from my 12 year old. He starts it. He thinks he doesn't have to do anything. And many people will probably tell me to let up, change it up a bit. Well, believe me, I do. When he seems bored with worksheets I grab a computer game, when he gets bored with that we use board games or story books, we use all sorts of different methods and still he refuses. I know it is a character issue. He even refused to do a bible study my husband wanted to do with just the two of them.
How do we rein this back in after apparently failing to train him to do these things up to this point? I mean, I never think I do a good job and of course think I have many failures but I thought we were doing a fine job of this character training.
I don't want a robot, but I also want respect. And I want my son to love to learn and he just pouts, does bare minimum and fights me all the way. (and, to be honest, my husband just yells at him and commands him to respect and obey his mom. well, it's not working and I don't think that is the right approach.)
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
weigh in
well, I lost 1.4 lbs this week. I had of course hoped for more since I started working out this week, but since I didn't eat the best while away this weekend, I can see how I might not have lost much. I am just happy I lost something. So, I am continuing with the working out with the Biggest Losers Cardio max and eating smoothies for breakfast. My salads for lunch haven't been working out because with in an hour of them I was so hungry I wanted to eat everything in site. so I am still trying to com up with heathy lunch options or ideas on how to make the salad heartier but still healthy. And I have been doing well on dinners which is somhow easier. I think it is because I don't like to cook much at lunch time. I want something fast and easy because we are homeschooling and the little one naps and I just feel like I don't want to cook a big meal and then again for dinner.
Anyway, unless I really ramp it up in the food restriction and excersize this week I probably won't make my goal of 10 lbs this month. I have 4.4 lbs to go and I haven't lost that much in one week yet. But I will keep plugging away and we will see what happens.
Go to Eclipsed for more weigh ins
Anyway, unless I really ramp it up in the food restriction and excersize this week I probably won't make my goal of 10 lbs this month. I have 4.4 lbs to go and I haven't lost that much in one week yet. But I will keep plugging away and we will see what happens.
Go to Eclipsed for more weigh ins
Monday, January 25, 2010
things that make me go hmmm...
WOW I went to this conference this weekend and had an amazing time. I learned so much and just love the time to refresh and refocus. I have more I want to express about that later. There are so many ideas and things in my head that I need some time to think through and get everything in line.
But I didn't eat very well while on my little retreat. I mean, I didn't pig out or anything, we just ate out a couple times and I tried to make good choices, but I gave in and got fries once. I did stop when I was full which was good. But the choices weren't always the best. Anyway, we will see. I am back to it today and had a smoothie for breakfast. An hour later I am feeling a bit hungry. I need to go right now and do my workout because if I don't it will get pushed back and I know myself well enough to know it will end up undone.
So, for this weeks challenge... well, I have found this great lady and we are kind of following each other for some encouragement and then there is a friend in real life I have been trying to get to join me, but she is hesitating because she wants a PLAN. SO, while I work on her I will have to rely on you bloggers for support. And I have done some eating out and not always making the healthier choice so this week I will plan on finding the healthiest choice as Kris suggests. Of course I am also continuing to just loosely write down my eating to keep myself accountable and I am working out and hope to add a day or two of swimming this week.
But I didn't eat very well while on my little retreat. I mean, I didn't pig out or anything, we just ate out a couple times and I tried to make good choices, but I gave in and got fries once. I did stop when I was full which was good. But the choices weren't always the best. Anyway, we will see. I am back to it today and had a smoothie for breakfast. An hour later I am feeling a bit hungry. I need to go right now and do my workout because if I don't it will get pushed back and I know myself well enough to know it will end up undone.
So, for this weeks challenge... well, I have found this great lady and we are kind of following each other for some encouragement and then there is a friend in real life I have been trying to get to join me, but she is hesitating because she wants a PLAN. SO, while I work on her I will have to rely on you bloggers for support. And I have done some eating out and not always making the healthier choice so this week I will plan on finding the healthiest choice as Kris suggests. Of course I am also continuing to just loosely write down my eating to keep myself accountable and I am working out and hope to add a day or two of swimming this week.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Revolution!
So we have been working our way through American History with Homeschool in the Woods Time Travellers series. It is a great program and we have loved it. There are lots of projects and we can choose what fits our schedule as well as interest. Starting Monday we began the American Revolution. I love the Colonial period which we just finished. (and which technically isn't over since the revolution happened during that time, it is just broken up for ease) My twelve year old wasn't too interested in quilting bees, samplers and how they cooked the christmas goose. But boy, my 9 year old daughter and I have had a blast! She is still working on her sampler, maybe I will take a picture and post it this week.
Anyway, I think Jordan will love what's coming because it is about WAR! And what self respecting twelve year old boy doesn't like war? We will discuss weapons and strategy, battles, strengths, weaknesses...makes ya feel like grunting and rolling in the mud doesn't it? Well, I hope we learn a lot in the next few weeks. Along with the history we have our regular "core" studies such as math, handwriting and language arts. I am going to try something new for our bible studies. I really slack in this area. I mean, we pray, talk about bible stories and I do a lot of reading of bible stories from different kid bibles. My favorite is The Jesus storybook bible. So I got these individual studies for boys and girls from here. I'll be honest, I got them a while back but my kids don't really get this kind of thing. I don't know how to impart to them that a lot of it is your opinion and how God is speaking to you and there isn't always a right answer. My son Jordan really has a problem with this. But we will work through it.
I do feel like I slack in the christian ed portion of my schooling, and that is a huge reason we homeschool. But somehow, just using biblical examples in math and copying scripture for handwriting isn't quite enough. I am wondering... what do you use? and what have you loved?
Anyway, I think Jordan will love what's coming because it is about WAR! And what self respecting twelve year old boy doesn't like war? We will discuss weapons and strategy, battles, strengths, weaknesses...makes ya feel like grunting and rolling in the mud doesn't it? Well, I hope we learn a lot in the next few weeks. Along with the history we have our regular "core" studies such as math, handwriting and language arts. I am going to try something new for our bible studies. I really slack in this area. I mean, we pray, talk about bible stories and I do a lot of reading of bible stories from different kid bibles. My favorite is The Jesus storybook bible. So I got these individual studies for boys and girls from here. I'll be honest, I got them a while back but my kids don't really get this kind of thing. I don't know how to impart to them that a lot of it is your opinion and how God is speaking to you and there isn't always a right answer. My son Jordan really has a problem with this. But we will work through it.
I do feel like I slack in the christian ed portion of my schooling, and that is a huge reason we homeschool. But somehow, just using biblical examples in math and copying scripture for handwriting isn't quite enough. I am wondering... what do you use? and what have you loved?
weekly weigh in
So, I bought a new scale a couple of weeks ago when I decided to get serious about this. I had an old one with the spinning dial and it said it went up to 300 lbs but I will tell you, it never weighed me properly. My husband claimed it was fine for him (but upon using the new one he was shocked to have gained 20 lbs in 5 mins) So I am under the impression that being brand new, this scale is correct. Am I wrong? I mean, I will weigh myself one day and get totally different numbers. I know weight can fluctuate in a day, even over several days but as of yesterday I was holding steady on my weight and today I show loss. Today is my official weigh in day so I of course am glad the number is lower today, but I am a bit nervous that maybe my scale is not really correct. I am going to just go with it for now (since it's going down hehe). Today I show 282.8 so that is 2.2lbs lost this week. I am hoping that the addition of actually working out this week will give me a big number next week.
I had been over here and noticed she has broken down her weighloss into smaller chunks each month and put them on her sidebar. What a great idea!!! I look at 100lbs and think there is no way I can do that. but if I look at 8 lbs this month, well that certainly is doable. WOW! That has changed my life, seriously! I was already struggling with the enormity and the fear of failure that I was not really giving this my all. I was already falling because who wants to start climbing a mountain when they can't even see the top? But now, I just need to make it up this small incline. I should know this stuff but sometimes I just get in my way.
So, I am going to take this simple idea and run with it. I am making smaller goals so I can make it through. The first is that I have already lost 4.2 lbs this month and would like to lose 10 total this month. I am almost halfway there!
See Eclipsed for more weigh ins.
I had been over here and noticed she has broken down her weighloss into smaller chunks each month and put them on her sidebar. What a great idea!!! I look at 100lbs and think there is no way I can do that. but if I look at 8 lbs this month, well that certainly is doable. WOW! That has changed my life, seriously! I was already struggling with the enormity and the fear of failure that I was not really giving this my all. I was already falling because who wants to start climbing a mountain when they can't even see the top? But now, I just need to make it up this small incline. I should know this stuff but sometimes I just get in my way.
So, I am going to take this simple idea and run with it. I am making smaller goals so I can make it through. The first is that I have already lost 4.2 lbs this month and would like to lose 10 total this month. I am almost halfway there!
See Eclipsed for more weigh ins.
Monday, January 18, 2010
menu
I don't think I am doing anything profound or fancy but since I like to know what others are eating (especially while losing weight) I figured I would post about my meals.
Mon-Tonight we are having some salmon. My parents went to Alaska and caught these themselves and we have had a bunch in our freezer. I don't love it. But I can tolerate it. Maybe I need a good recipe hehe. And with that I am serving some brown rice. I make the rice by sauteing the dry rice with some olive oil, onion and garlic, oh and celery if I have it. then I put it in a pot with the right amount of veggie stock and simmer for 30 mins or more til tender. And I will probably make frozen peas cause my kids love them (an I will be lucky to get anyone to eat the salmon)
Tues- We will have hamburgers made with the beef from a quarter steer we bought last year. We know where it cam from and what it was fed and how it died. I love that! With this I will make some big chunky fries (which I will only have a couple of) by cutting some yukon gold potatoes into 8ths and sticking them in a bag with some olive oil and Mrs Dash. shake it up and lay out on a cookie sheet or 9x13 pan. bake for 30-45 mins. I have some corn on the cob from last summers farmers market that will be added as well.
Wed- BLT's on homemade bread with all natural bacon made without nitrates and nitrites. we will have some carrot and orange bell pepper spears and maybe a fruit salad
Thurs- I will make a crustless quiche. I start by sauteing olive oil, onion, garlic, til tender then add a few chopped mushrooms. when they are soft I add a couple of big handfuls of spinach. cook til it wilts then put that in a pie dish. I sprinkle that with some feta cheese and then whisk 5 eggs with a dash of milk pour over the cheese and bake. I think it's 350 for 45 mins. then I will whip up some home made biscuits (for the kids and hubby).
Fri- I will be gone for dinner (at a conference for Christian mothers) but will thaw some homemade chili I had left last week.(I cooked the beans and everything!) for the family. Not sure what I will be eating while at the conference. I probably won't be great but I will try to have portion control and pick wisely what to eat.
I will post more here about other menus as I go. I like to make my own homemade refried beans and we do eat a lot of beans around here :) They use butter and are very good and easy. And I make bread once or twice a week. I need to cut back on the amount I eat, but it is whole wheat and I know all the ingredients so I know my family is getting good things to eat.
Like I mentioned in my previous post, I will be planning on making smoothies for breakfast and salads for lunch (though I was starving not long after today's so we will see what I can do to help ramp it up tomorrow). I would love to know what kinds of things others are eating on this quest for health and weightloss...
well, screaming toddler at my feet means time to go make dinner
Mon-Tonight we are having some salmon. My parents went to Alaska and caught these themselves and we have had a bunch in our freezer. I don't love it. But I can tolerate it. Maybe I need a good recipe hehe. And with that I am serving some brown rice. I make the rice by sauteing the dry rice with some olive oil, onion and garlic, oh and celery if I have it. then I put it in a pot with the right amount of veggie stock and simmer for 30 mins or more til tender. And I will probably make frozen peas cause my kids love them (an I will be lucky to get anyone to eat the salmon)
Tues- We will have hamburgers made with the beef from a quarter steer we bought last year. We know where it cam from and what it was fed and how it died. I love that! With this I will make some big chunky fries (which I will only have a couple of) by cutting some yukon gold potatoes into 8ths and sticking them in a bag with some olive oil and Mrs Dash. shake it up and lay out on a cookie sheet or 9x13 pan. bake for 30-45 mins. I have some corn on the cob from last summers farmers market that will be added as well.
Wed- BLT's on homemade bread with all natural bacon made without nitrates and nitrites. we will have some carrot and orange bell pepper spears and maybe a fruit salad
Thurs- I will make a crustless quiche. I start by sauteing olive oil, onion, garlic, til tender then add a few chopped mushrooms. when they are soft I add a couple of big handfuls of spinach. cook til it wilts then put that in a pie dish. I sprinkle that with some feta cheese and then whisk 5 eggs with a dash of milk pour over the cheese and bake. I think it's 350 for 45 mins. then I will whip up some home made biscuits (for the kids and hubby).
Fri- I will be gone for dinner (at a conference for Christian mothers) but will thaw some homemade chili I had left last week.(I cooked the beans and everything!) for the family. Not sure what I will be eating while at the conference. I probably won't be great but I will try to have portion control and pick wisely what to eat.
I will post more here about other menus as I go. I like to make my own homemade refried beans and we do eat a lot of beans around here :) They use butter and are very good and easy. And I make bread once or twice a week. I need to cut back on the amount I eat, but it is whole wheat and I know all the ingredients so I know my family is getting good things to eat.
Like I mentioned in my previous post, I will be planning on making smoothies for breakfast and salads for lunch (though I was starving not long after today's so we will see what I can do to help ramp it up tomorrow). I would love to know what kinds of things others are eating on this quest for health and weightloss...
well, screaming toddler at my feet means time to go make dinner
weekly challenge
I did ok on recording my food last week, but with a couple sick days for me and everyone else, I kind of lost a couple of days. I got back to writing it down but sadly we didn't eat well this week. Mostly it was a fend for yourself, eat whatever you can keep down kind of week and so it was hard. I snacked, and ate things I shouldn't, and didn't pay much attention to my eating.
SO, this week I am determined to make this happen! I still am focusing on whole, natural foods. I am going to make myself smoothies for breakfast M-F. The kids will either eat smoothies with me or homemade granola. I plan to have a salad for lunch. Kids will get their normal stuff (sandwiches, burritos, carrots, apples). Dinners I will make for the family with whole foods and natural ingredients ( I can post a menu later if anyone cares). Snacks will be raw nuts, fruits and veggies. Again, making sure to control portions will be a big focus, as well as snacking on the good foods (there are no more Christmas cookies, Carmel corn, or treats of any kind in this house) the closest we come is some trail mix which has some chocolate in it. But I am considering that an ok snack because I will crave the chocolate if I don't get it and I hope this helps keep me from devouring a pan of brownies or something :)
For this weeks challenge I am definitely starting a workout time every morning (M-F) I was going to start with 15 mins and work my way up but since Kris asked for 30, I will start there. I have an old workout video with some bands that I am going to do. I may try to find The Biggest Loser jumpstart video if I am out.
I have already started to blog my journey and am starting to touch on some of my "issues". I will continue to do that.
I plan on this week being a great week and I plan on having a big number to report at the end of it!
SO, this week I am determined to make this happen! I still am focusing on whole, natural foods. I am going to make myself smoothies for breakfast M-F. The kids will either eat smoothies with me or homemade granola. I plan to have a salad for lunch. Kids will get their normal stuff (sandwiches, burritos, carrots, apples). Dinners I will make for the family with whole foods and natural ingredients ( I can post a menu later if anyone cares). Snacks will be raw nuts, fruits and veggies. Again, making sure to control portions will be a big focus, as well as snacking on the good foods (there are no more Christmas cookies, Carmel corn, or treats of any kind in this house) the closest we come is some trail mix which has some chocolate in it. But I am considering that an ok snack because I will crave the chocolate if I don't get it and I hope this helps keep me from devouring a pan of brownies or something :)
For this weeks challenge I am definitely starting a workout time every morning (M-F) I was going to start with 15 mins and work my way up but since Kris asked for 30, I will start there. I have an old workout video with some bands that I am going to do. I may try to find The Biggest Loser jumpstart video if I am out.
I have already started to blog my journey and am starting to touch on some of my "issues". I will continue to do that.
I plan on this week being a great week and I plan on having a big number to report at the end of it!
Friday, January 15, 2010
CONFESSION
I have been wanting to write this post all week but with the sickness hitting I just didn't get to it til now.
I was watching The Biggest Loser on Tuesday night and when it got to the part where Jillian had to eat some of the food the Orange team ate, I recognized many of those things. They are from that fast food place with the big BELL in its logo, you know, they serve tacos and other Mexican fair. Well, then Jillian starts looking at that stuff with this disgusted look and when she eats it she gags and throws up! (Part of me wonders if that is a bit staged or over dramatized on her part for effect.) But then it hits me, as she is saying how could these people eat like this, it isn't even food, that I LOVE fast food. Jillian is saying how can they eat it and I am thinking, 'cause it's good.
I am a fast food junkie. I like to cook with whole foods and eat natural sugars and then, let;s say, on Friday we go out for lunch or Sunday after church we grab a quick bite, or even a Tuesday night when we have been on a field trip and I am tired we pick up Chik-fil-a for a treat and because "it's better then McD" right? Is it? But I kind of like the McD and the Bell and many others. I know they aren't good for me, but it's not like I eat there every day right? Oh, and I couldn't even pretend I was doing well by ordering the fruit cup or the yogurt or something else masquerading as healthy, no I have to have the fries and the burgers with the sauces, cause it's a treat, and if I am already eating here, I might as well indulge, right? Yeah, indulged my way right up to over 280 lbs I did.
Well, I am watching Jillian get sick and thinking, what does she eat? Doesn't she ever get cravings for anything bad for you? What is her idea of indulging? I mean, I know what healthy eating looks like, for a day or two, but I don't always feel like eating a slice of grilled chicken and a salad with lemon juice squeezed on it. I know there are many ways to make healthy low calorie foods with out it being boring, but I like the way the junkie foods taste and if the option is a big mac or a grilled chicken breast, I want the mac. And for someone addicted to fast food it is a lot of work to plan and fix those healthy meals and make sure those snacks are on hand and though I don't like the excuse of not being able to get the kids to eat it, sometimes they just won't eat it. And so I am a little on edge because even a week and a half in and I want some of the food from that Bell place. MMMM I could go for some right now....
But I digress....
ok, so what to do? I guess right now I really don't know. I have been working on this for so long, my whole life, and I am tired. I am tired of having to think about it. I hate that every waking moment is consumed with what will the next meal be. I have to shop for the food and prepare the food and eat the food and clean up the food and store the food and I have to do it every single day. And I am tired.
I used the word addicted back there. I guess that is the thing. Right there in black and white. Addiction. Hmmm, maybe that is another post.
For now I will leave it at this.... this is a long hard road, and it won't be easy. Lots of changes to come. I pray I can break the hold that fast food has on me and that I can truely enjoy some of the healthier options.
I was watching The Biggest Loser on Tuesday night and when it got to the part where Jillian had to eat some of the food the Orange team ate, I recognized many of those things. They are from that fast food place with the big BELL in its logo, you know, they serve tacos and other Mexican fair. Well, then Jillian starts looking at that stuff with this disgusted look and when she eats it she gags and throws up! (Part of me wonders if that is a bit staged or over dramatized on her part for effect.) But then it hits me, as she is saying how could these people eat like this, it isn't even food, that I LOVE fast food. Jillian is saying how can they eat it and I am thinking, 'cause it's good.
I am a fast food junkie. I like to cook with whole foods and eat natural sugars and then, let;s say, on Friday we go out for lunch or Sunday after church we grab a quick bite, or even a Tuesday night when we have been on a field trip and I am tired we pick up Chik-fil-a for a treat and because "it's better then McD" right? Is it? But I kind of like the McD and the Bell and many others. I know they aren't good for me, but it's not like I eat there every day right? Oh, and I couldn't even pretend I was doing well by ordering the fruit cup or the yogurt or something else masquerading as healthy, no I have to have the fries and the burgers with the sauces, cause it's a treat, and if I am already eating here, I might as well indulge, right? Yeah, indulged my way right up to over 280 lbs I did.
Well, I am watching Jillian get sick and thinking, what does she eat? Doesn't she ever get cravings for anything bad for you? What is her idea of indulging? I mean, I know what healthy eating looks like, for a day or two, but I don't always feel like eating a slice of grilled chicken and a salad with lemon juice squeezed on it. I know there are many ways to make healthy low calorie foods with out it being boring, but I like the way the junkie foods taste and if the option is a big mac or a grilled chicken breast, I want the mac. And for someone addicted to fast food it is a lot of work to plan and fix those healthy meals and make sure those snacks are on hand and though I don't like the excuse of not being able to get the kids to eat it, sometimes they just won't eat it. And so I am a little on edge because even a week and a half in and I want some of the food from that Bell place. MMMM I could go for some right now....
But I digress....
ok, so what to do? I guess right now I really don't know. I have been working on this for so long, my whole life, and I am tired. I am tired of having to think about it. I hate that every waking moment is consumed with what will the next meal be. I have to shop for the food and prepare the food and eat the food and clean up the food and store the food and I have to do it every single day. And I am tired.
I used the word addicted back there. I guess that is the thing. Right there in black and white. Addiction. Hmmm, maybe that is another post.
For now I will leave it at this.... this is a long hard road, and it won't be easy. Lots of changes to come. I pray I can break the hold that fast food has on me and that I can truely enjoy some of the healthier options.
ICK
well, we have all been sick this week. with a stomache bug. SO, not much has gotten done around here. Very little schooling, not much cooking, or eating for that matter. Today is clean up day now that everyone seems to be feeling better. I have a bit of a lingering headache but that could just be a bit of dehydration. I am drinking lots of water. Along with clean up will be looking at what foods we have and what is needed to get back on track after a long week of piecing together food for whoever was up to eating at the time. Then on to the store.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Weekly weigh in
I have been giving my eating habits a concentrated effort for one week now and I am glad to say I lost 2 lbs. I did have some times of weakness but overall I reduced my portion sizes, opted for fruit over cookies sometimes, and am making this process a priority. I think it was a pretty good week. This coming week I was hoping to add some movement into my days but I now have a sick kid and expect the others to follow. so I think I will concentrate on maintaining and surviving the week. I guess the upside if I do get sick would be not eating, maybe I will lose more this week LOL.
See how others are doing over at Eclipsed
See how others are doing over at Eclipsed
Gratituesday
I sit here after a long night with my 9 year old throwing up. I am tired. She is probably more so. I figure this will be a long week, because it will inevitably pass through the whole house. But I am sitting here thinking of the last time we were all sick like this. It has been quite a while. And I am thankful for that. Then I remember that I have passed through several of these episodes in the last few years without totally getting sick myself. And for that I am very thankful. I hope this will be one of those times I can escape it. I would be so grateful.
see what others are grateful for today
see what others are grateful for today
Monday, January 11, 2010
weekly challenge
I have been following this weight loss blog and it was my inspiration to kick start myself into being serious and purposeful in my weight loss path this year. She is issuing challenges each week as well as encouragement. I am finding it fun to have this kind of support. I have no friends in real life that I believe understand or are on the same journey. So I will continue to follow and post and link while I lose!
I have been recording my eating in a food journal. I just opened the notepad on my desktop on my computer. I made a little icon so I just click and type, save and I am set. It has been a great way for me to go back over the week and see what I have been doing.
My goal is portion control and eating whole, natural foods. I can't do weight watchers or calorie counting. It doesn't work for me. I have tried those methods and I feel deprived and ...well, I feel trapped. So, my focus has been for a long time on trying to incorporate healthy, whole foods into our diet while removing processed foods. I have decided that is my focus now, but with more portion control and control or "treats". Because lets face it, no matter how natural the ingredients, or how many "good" ingredients in a cookie, if I eat the whole batch in a day, I won't lose weight.
I think I will continue to write down what I eat. I think that keeps me accountable. This week as I was going to get something to eat I would think, do I want to write this down. and it stopped me a few times from eating something I shouldn't, or eating MORE of something then I needed.
that's what I'm doing this week.
I have been recording my eating in a food journal. I just opened the notepad on my desktop on my computer. I made a little icon so I just click and type, save and I am set. It has been a great way for me to go back over the week and see what I have been doing.
My goal is portion control and eating whole, natural foods. I can't do weight watchers or calorie counting. It doesn't work for me. I have tried those methods and I feel deprived and ...well, I feel trapped. So, my focus has been for a long time on trying to incorporate healthy, whole foods into our diet while removing processed foods. I have decided that is my focus now, but with more portion control and control or "treats". Because lets face it, no matter how natural the ingredients, or how many "good" ingredients in a cookie, if I eat the whole batch in a day, I won't lose weight.
I think I will continue to write down what I eat. I think that keeps me accountable. This week as I was going to get something to eat I would think, do I want to write this down. and it stopped me a few times from eating something I shouldn't, or eating MORE of something then I needed.
that's what I'm doing this week.
Saturday, January 09, 2010
Thursday, January 07, 2010
I did recover yesterday, but today I feel ok, it's just that I couldn't be motivated to do much. We got our learning in pretty well, but my cleaning and purging I am supposed to be doing kind of fizzled. I have been on such a roll, guess it had to end sometime. I was just feeling the snowball effect I think. Like I can't clean this and put it away because I need something downstairs to be cleaned up and before I do that the couch has to move and to do that I need my hubby and when he gets home there isn't time yada yada yada...
so nothing got done. Oh and it doesn't help that every time I get a room neat and vaccuumed, I go to the bathroom and come back to a disaster! I know that it is because I have small children, but come on! one day!! could I have even the illusion of progress for one day??
and something I hadn't thought much about til right now (because my stomache is growling) is that I have been making a concious effort to eat better. my focus this week has been on simply eating less. I am not totally restricting my eating (I had a handful or two of carmel corn) but I didn't eat the entire package, something I normally would have done. so I am starting with eating mostly what I normally would, but just less of it. And another big change, is if I do feel very hungry inbetween meals I eat a CUTIE (manderin oranges). they are in season and super sweet these days (though not local of course which vexes me so)
anyway, I guess what I was trying to say is that eating less and being hungry sometimes during the day could be a bit draining. I am trying to remember to take vitamins to help (whole food vits). but until my body gets used to it and I lose a bit, or I find another energy boost, I guess I will have to push through as not to lose too much momentum on the cleaning.
I still want to post my new school schedule and routines, but I have a date with my hubby (late night LOST catch-up before the new season)
so nothing got done. Oh and it doesn't help that every time I get a room neat and vaccuumed, I go to the bathroom and come back to a disaster! I know that it is because I have small children, but come on! one day!! could I have even the illusion of progress for one day??
and something I hadn't thought much about til right now (because my stomache is growling) is that I have been making a concious effort to eat better. my focus this week has been on simply eating less. I am not totally restricting my eating (I had a handful or two of carmel corn) but I didn't eat the entire package, something I normally would have done. so I am starting with eating mostly what I normally would, but just less of it. And another big change, is if I do feel very hungry inbetween meals I eat a CUTIE (manderin oranges). they are in season and super sweet these days (though not local of course which vexes me so)
anyway, I guess what I was trying to say is that eating less and being hungry sometimes during the day could be a bit draining. I am trying to remember to take vitamins to help (whole food vits). but until my body gets used to it and I lose a bit, or I find another energy boost, I guess I will have to push through as not to lose too much momentum on the cleaning.
I still want to post my new school schedule and routines, but I have a date with my hubby (late night LOST catch-up before the new season)
Wednesday, January 06, 2010
more
I need more time, more energy, more focus, more coffee LOL
I woke up feeling dreary this morning. The weather is foggy and cold wich usually I love. But today I woke up with a headache and feeling unrested. I don't want to excersize, I don't want to work on cleaning, I don't want to do devotions or homeschool. I want to read, go back to bed....
I need some more sleep!!
ok, so instead, I am going to go take my vitamins and drink a big glass of water. then I am going to start some laundry and get the kids focused on school. Then, to help me refocuse on school I will be writing out a list of our curriculum and our goals by the end of this school year.....I'll be back!
I woke up feeling dreary this morning. The weather is foggy and cold wich usually I love. But today I woke up with a headache and feeling unrested. I don't want to excersize, I don't want to work on cleaning, I don't want to do devotions or homeschool. I want to read, go back to bed....
I need some more sleep!!
ok, so instead, I am going to go take my vitamins and drink a big glass of water. then I am going to start some laundry and get the kids focused on school. Then, to help me refocuse on school I will be writing out a list of our curriculum and our goals by the end of this school year.....I'll be back!
Tuesday, January 05, 2010
the number
A friend of mine asked me, a couple of years ago, if I would go on the Biggest Loser with her. I am not sure if she was serious, but I laughed. I said there was no way I was standing half naked on national television and letting the world know my weight. But tonight I sit here and watch the season premier, I am struck that it does take courage. Courage to be on tv, but courage to take the first step. People have been on the show and you can tell they don't get it. Then you see a young girl cry when she sees the number.
I cry when I see the number. I don't want to face the number. I don't feel like that number. It doesn't define me....or does it?
I don't want to live in the shadow of a number. So as part of my resolve to lose weight, I am going to announce my numbers. I hope it will inspire me, at the least motivate me. And I hope it will get smaller in the process :)
today isn't the beginning of my journey. I have been on this journey my whole life. but I hope today is a turning point.... today I am 287 lbs.
I cry when I see the number. I don't want to face the number. I don't feel like that number. It doesn't define me....or does it?
I don't want to live in the shadow of a number. So as part of my resolve to lose weight, I am going to announce my numbers. I hope it will inspire me, at the least motivate me. And I hope it will get smaller in the process :)
today isn't the beginning of my journey. I have been on this journey my whole life. but I hope today is a turning point.... today I am 287 lbs.
Sunday, January 03, 2010
Resolve
so I have been thinking about resolutions...to resolve to do something. I don't want to be cliche, but I resolve to loose weight this year (more specifically be healthy). I resolve to deepen my relationship with my Creator. I resolve to live in the now . I resolve to be a better wife and mother. I feel like I can't make these decisions. It will mean failure when I don't meet those goals. I have already resolved to fail. WHY?
I want to meet these goals. I don't want to give up before I have started. I have some ideas, and some blogs I am following for help. I want to blog my journey, for better or worse. I want to succeed...I resolve to succeed!
I want to meet these goals. I don't want to give up before I have started. I have some ideas, and some blogs I am following for help. I want to blog my journey, for better or worse. I want to succeed...I resolve to succeed!
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