so, last night while I was writing that very depressing post, I had flicked on my crock pot which had a jar of yogurt warming in it, with plans to write a post, switch laundry and then turn it off. it needed to be on just long enough to get warm so it could stay warm all night. I had the jar wrapped in towels, and then in the crock pot then the pot was wrapped in a big towel, and I had a thermometer stuck in next to the jar and sticking out enough for me to see through the lid, so I could semi regulate the temp.
well, I put in some diapers to do a rinse cycle then I sat down to write that post (talk about being fortuitous, you know, about how I fail!) anyway, I then went and started the diapers on a soak, and then went to bed.
about 3am my husband woke me up and said he smelled something...we ran to the kitchen to fine the crock pot bubbling away and smoking! he took the outer towel off and the handles of the pot were melted! Bren took the lid off and smoke poured out so he put it back. in the jar you could see the milk boiling! we were afraid that the jar and or the crock would crack or even explode. the jar was capped so that was really our biggest fear. of course we turned the thing off and then I sat up to make sure nothing was on fire.
after it seemed the disaster was averted, I went to bed. this morning it is all cool so I took the towels out and they are burnt. the milk in the jar has separated and the solids are brown! yuck!
I could learn a lesson, but in the vein of my last post, I am going to mope and just commit never to use an appliance again!
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Friday, September 24, 2010
supermom...NOT!
I feel like a failure! I have so many ideals, in so many areas...and I am not even coming close to achieving any of it. I guess some might say my expectations are too high. well, I am not happy with mediocrity and I don't want to just do what everyone else does. Jesus said we are to be set apart from the world...right?
I have this idea of what a wife and mother is supposed to do. and that idea is kind of a new revelation that I have gotten from trying to find out what God's plan for me is. but I fall so short of what I think He wants and I don't know how to fit into that mold. not only that, but I am trying to model it for my daughters and, again, I fall short. and though this is sounding very self pitying and depressing right now, I am not trying to be very "poor me" about the whole thing. I am really trying to figure out what to do.
I want to be a good wife, a help meet. I want to be a Proverbs 31 wife who rises early and stays up late, who makes good decisions and manages her household well. But I have very little energy and though I feel like my motivation is there, because I do want to be that good, it must not be since I can't find the energy to get off the couch and clean or cook or all the millions of other tasks that need done.
Oh I do cook, and sometimes well. but not all the time. and I do clean up, when we are having company. but not consistently. that is the problem. I can do it for a little while, but not consistently.
I read my bible or do a devotions or study, for a while...then I lose it. and the kids get Bible teaching and family devotions, sometimes. but that is so not the example I want to set. I want to raise my kids to love God and obey him and know in their hearts it is right! so why can't I?
And I wanted more kids, it is an ache on my heart. I would love a baby again. I would also love to adopt. but neither is an option because my husband says no. I wish he had the same philosophy I do, to let God decide. I feel like he is wrong to not let God have control. he sees it as being a good steward by not having more. But I know he also doesn't think I can handle it. I think, if I were a better house keeper and better at not losing my temper with the kids, maybe he would change his mind.
I want to be a godly wife, and obey my husband, but it makes me feel like I get no say in anything, and that what I think doesn't matter. and I feel guilty for thinking this way. is this just my sinful human nature?
well, mostly this is written to get my feelings out. to have a place to express it where I won't be judged for how I feel. I don't feel like I can talk to him about most of the things that I want, he just doesn't understand me.
I love him, and he loves me, and he is a good provider...I just wish we saw eye to eye on some stuff.and I wish I could be better, so he would be proud of me.
I have this idea of what a wife and mother is supposed to do. and that idea is kind of a new revelation that I have gotten from trying to find out what God's plan for me is. but I fall so short of what I think He wants and I don't know how to fit into that mold. not only that, but I am trying to model it for my daughters and, again, I fall short. and though this is sounding very self pitying and depressing right now, I am not trying to be very "poor me" about the whole thing. I am really trying to figure out what to do.
I want to be a good wife, a help meet. I want to be a Proverbs 31 wife who rises early and stays up late, who makes good decisions and manages her household well. But I have very little energy and though I feel like my motivation is there, because I do want to be that good, it must not be since I can't find the energy to get off the couch and clean or cook or all the millions of other tasks that need done.
Oh I do cook, and sometimes well. but not all the time. and I do clean up, when we are having company. but not consistently. that is the problem. I can do it for a little while, but not consistently.
I read my bible or do a devotions or study, for a while...then I lose it. and the kids get Bible teaching and family devotions, sometimes. but that is so not the example I want to set. I want to raise my kids to love God and obey him and know in their hearts it is right! so why can't I?
And I wanted more kids, it is an ache on my heart. I would love a baby again. I would also love to adopt. but neither is an option because my husband says no. I wish he had the same philosophy I do, to let God decide. I feel like he is wrong to not let God have control. he sees it as being a good steward by not having more. But I know he also doesn't think I can handle it. I think, if I were a better house keeper and better at not losing my temper with the kids, maybe he would change his mind.
I want to be a godly wife, and obey my husband, but it makes me feel like I get no say in anything, and that what I think doesn't matter. and I feel guilty for thinking this way. is this just my sinful human nature?
well, mostly this is written to get my feelings out. to have a place to express it where I won't be judged for how I feel. I don't feel like I can talk to him about most of the things that I want, he just doesn't understand me.
I love him, and he loves me, and he is a good provider...I just wish we saw eye to eye on some stuff.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
HAPPY FALL!!!
Oh I am so excited it is finally fall. this is my favorite time of year! I love the pumpkin spice frappuccinos at Starbucks, I love pumpkin bread and soup and cool weather and colors on the trees and in my yard. An there is the snow...the first snow of the year is so magical.
I am such a little kid when it comes to this time of year. Between now and Christmas I am perfectly giddy!
We haven't been doing much formal learning around here lately. Bren is working the swing shift (2-10pm) and so our schedule is a bit off. We get up and hang out with dad for a while. I do any errands that need to be done with none or some of the kids, or else Bren does some business he can't usually do after work on rental houses, or some project around our house. Then the kids play more with dad and I make lunch or clean something. Dad heads to work after lunch and we read some books or do a computer game (educational of course). There is some book work, but not much :) and then some outside play, dinner and a movie before bed. And bed is a hard adjustment. I am not used to doing it alone.
So tomorrow will make it two weeks we have been on this schedule. And there is one week to go. Then he should get back to normal hours and we can get back into our normal routine. It has been interesting, and we are managing fine (better then if he was on the midnight shift) but still, I don't care for it and want normal hours back. Luckily he get the weekend off, last weekend he had to work Sunday.
Anyway, we are reading The Bronze Bow, doing art projects, decorating for fall, doing an online drawing class, baking cookies and muffins. then there is math, which I am trying to do with some "living" books and games, and they are reading some nature readers, some books on the senses, we read about China and planets. I guess things are progressing along. I think it is good to write this stuff out because when you are taking the life learning approach, it is easy to think you aren't doing any "school work".
well, that's all for now, but again I say HAPPY FALL!!
I am such a little kid when it comes to this time of year. Between now and Christmas I am perfectly giddy!
We haven't been doing much formal learning around here lately. Bren is working the swing shift (2-10pm) and so our schedule is a bit off. We get up and hang out with dad for a while. I do any errands that need to be done with none or some of the kids, or else Bren does some business he can't usually do after work on rental houses, or some project around our house. Then the kids play more with dad and I make lunch or clean something. Dad heads to work after lunch and we read some books or do a computer game (educational of course). There is some book work, but not much :) and then some outside play, dinner and a movie before bed. And bed is a hard adjustment. I am not used to doing it alone.
So tomorrow will make it two weeks we have been on this schedule. And there is one week to go. Then he should get back to normal hours and we can get back into our normal routine. It has been interesting, and we are managing fine (better then if he was on the midnight shift) but still, I don't care for it and want normal hours back. Luckily he get the weekend off, last weekend he had to work Sunday.
Anyway, we are reading The Bronze Bow, doing art projects, decorating for fall, doing an online drawing class, baking cookies and muffins. then there is math, which I am trying to do with some "living" books and games, and they are reading some nature readers, some books on the senses, we read about China and planets. I guess things are progressing along. I think it is good to write this stuff out because when you are taking the life learning approach, it is easy to think you aren't doing any "school work".
well, that's all for now, but again I say HAPPY FALL!!
Friday, August 20, 2010
life learning and being a morning person
we have read books on the Civil War this summer and they have been very interesting. over the next few weeks we will start in on some more "core" subjects. I am a huge fan of life learning and not starting or stopping for the "school year" (or even a "school day"). I want there to be no difference in living our life, and learning. I love this post and the book mentioned. I don't always know how to make sure math is worked in to that style, or even if it should be (in the traditional school sense).
I want my home to be permeated with Christ...past that it doesn't matter. I want the kids to read quality character building literature and know God's history of the world. this is what I have always wanted, but when you are trained to "do school", it is hard to change the mindset of it needing to be like how I did it in school. (I so wanted to be homeschooled, but my mom didn't want to. I think she would have been great at it.)
Anyway, what I am saying is that if the mindset of "school" is ingrained in us, because it's all we have known, then it is hard to grasp a different way of doing things, a different way to learn. My husband has a hard time grasping this different style of learning. He sees it as us not doing anything, because we don't have scheduled math time and desks with a black board and all that. And it's hard for me too, because I tend to go to the school model first and then as I think things through I realize that isn't what I want. This post is feeling rambley, and I am not sure I am making a point...
I guess I want us to have a very biblical model, where the disciples learned from being with Jesus. I want my kids to learn just by being with me. not planned grammar lesson, no recess and summer vacation. Just us living together and learning about God and life.
Unfortunately, that feels very much like doing nothing. So we have our grammar books and our math lessons. we read a lot, though not all the kids like it or like certain books chosen. The kids like tv and they like video games and they like the computer (who am I kidding, I like the computer too). And sometimes those things can become cumbersome to our learning. They become rewards for "getting through" our "school". and more often then I care to admit, my example is just that, "getting through" cooking, dishes, bedtime just so I can have my computer or tv time.
I want to have a more simple, quiet, flowing day, where learning just comes with being together, but I realize more then ever that that doesn't happen by itself. I have to purposely be about making learning opportunities in our day. And one thing I feel convicted of lately is getting up earlier. I am not a morning person and it is hard for me to get going, so usually the kids get their own breakfast and I sleep in.
But I know my day will be more smooth and I will have the energy to make good choices with my day as well as set a good example for my kids if I get up and spend time in the Word and get breakfast for the family. So that is my new goal.
Now for the hard part...implementing it. Because here is the thing, I am sinful and human and I want to sleep and I have a toddler who still doesn't sleep through the night, and she still comes to bed to nurse and if she has fallen asleep in my bed by morning, then why would I set and alarm to get up with the prospect of it waking her too? I better just sleep while she is sleeping. Boy I am good at this excuse thing!
I am still not 100% sure how to go about this, because more often then not, she is in my bed. And getting up early is kind of defeated if the whole house wakes up with me. And all but one of my kids are morning people too...which means I have to get up REALLY early to beat them! Which doesn't make this any easier of a trick...so I need to pray and I need to just implement a schedule and then see how it works and be willing to change it if needed. That is the only way to go.
(I will also post soon about that pesky tv/video game/computer problem)
I want my home to be permeated with Christ...past that it doesn't matter. I want the kids to read quality character building literature and know God's history of the world. this is what I have always wanted, but when you are trained to "do school", it is hard to change the mindset of it needing to be like how I did it in school. (I so wanted to be homeschooled, but my mom didn't want to. I think she would have been great at it.)
Anyway, what I am saying is that if the mindset of "school" is ingrained in us, because it's all we have known, then it is hard to grasp a different way of doing things, a different way to learn. My husband has a hard time grasping this different style of learning. He sees it as us not doing anything, because we don't have scheduled math time and desks with a black board and all that. And it's hard for me too, because I tend to go to the school model first and then as I think things through I realize that isn't what I want. This post is feeling rambley, and I am not sure I am making a point...
I guess I want us to have a very biblical model, where the disciples learned from being with Jesus. I want my kids to learn just by being with me. not planned grammar lesson, no recess and summer vacation. Just us living together and learning about God and life.
Unfortunately, that feels very much like doing nothing. So we have our grammar books and our math lessons. we read a lot, though not all the kids like it or like certain books chosen. The kids like tv and they like video games and they like the computer (who am I kidding, I like the computer too). And sometimes those things can become cumbersome to our learning. They become rewards for "getting through" our "school". and more often then I care to admit, my example is just that, "getting through" cooking, dishes, bedtime just so I can have my computer or tv time.
I want to have a more simple, quiet, flowing day, where learning just comes with being together, but I realize more then ever that that doesn't happen by itself. I have to purposely be about making learning opportunities in our day. And one thing I feel convicted of lately is getting up earlier. I am not a morning person and it is hard for me to get going, so usually the kids get their own breakfast and I sleep in.
But I know my day will be more smooth and I will have the energy to make good choices with my day as well as set a good example for my kids if I get up and spend time in the Word and get breakfast for the family. So that is my new goal.
Now for the hard part...implementing it. Because here is the thing, I am sinful and human and I want to sleep and I have a toddler who still doesn't sleep through the night, and she still comes to bed to nurse and if she has fallen asleep in my bed by morning, then why would I set and alarm to get up with the prospect of it waking her too? I better just sleep while she is sleeping. Boy I am good at this excuse thing!
I am still not 100% sure how to go about this, because more often then not, she is in my bed. And getting up early is kind of defeated if the whole house wakes up with me. And all but one of my kids are morning people too...which means I have to get up REALLY early to beat them! Which doesn't make this any easier of a trick...so I need to pray and I need to just implement a schedule and then see how it works and be willing to change it if needed. That is the only way to go.
(I will also post soon about that pesky tv/video game/computer problem)
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
busy
that is the only word that describes our summer...busy! I thought July would be quieter, but we still had trips to see my parents in Wyoming and we finished the summer reading program and I had a girls weekend away with some friends...phew!
then to start off this month we went to a family reunion event in Beulah, CO and it was so fun!! but again, wow...more travelling! And later this month Brendan has his business trip, then we go camping Labor Day weekend.
so, I have maintained some weight loss this summer, but haven't lost any more. I guess that is good and bad. I am so glad I didn't gain it all back (and more) but disappointed I couldn't lose more. I have had these busy times which I would have thought would lead to some lose, but I think since all the busy times are us travelling, we eat out a lot and so then when we are home and eating well, I am so tired I am not very active!
and so I am just plugging along and trying my best to stay balanced. I do need to move more though!
So, back to it! Today I am 274.6lbs. not much has changed in my eating philosophy...so I need to get moving. I will post later on some ideas I have for doing so.
then to start off this month we went to a family reunion event in Beulah, CO and it was so fun!! but again, wow...more travelling! And later this month Brendan has his business trip, then we go camping Labor Day weekend.
so, I have maintained some weight loss this summer, but haven't lost any more. I guess that is good and bad. I am so glad I didn't gain it all back (and more) but disappointed I couldn't lose more. I have had these busy times which I would have thought would lead to some lose, but I think since all the busy times are us travelling, we eat out a lot and so then when we are home and eating well, I am so tired I am not very active!
and so I am just plugging along and trying my best to stay balanced. I do need to move more though!
So, back to it! Today I am 274.6lbs. not much has changed in my eating philosophy...so I need to get moving. I will post later on some ideas I have for doing so.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
crazy dayz of summer
WOW! this has been one whirlwind of a month! We have been travelling so much this month with 2 camping trips, an out of state wedding and some time at a mountain condo with family...boy am I tired!
We just got back from most of that being in this last week, so I am beat and trying to get back into my routines. Lots of laundry to do and library books to return, and we are back to our Civil war book study as well. It's going great!
I still have lots to do in the next month for our summer school, but lots less travel. I will probably take a trip to see some girlfriends for a couple of days, but that is it. The rest of the time we are going to do some swimming, relaxing, reading for the summer reading program and just be together.
now I'm off to pull weeds, switch laundry and make a grocery run! guess the crazyness continues! :)
We just got back from most of that being in this last week, so I am beat and trying to get back into my routines. Lots of laundry to do and library books to return, and we are back to our Civil war book study as well. It's going great!
I still have lots to do in the next month for our summer school, but lots less travel. I will probably take a trip to see some girlfriends for a couple of days, but that is it. The rest of the time we are going to do some swimming, relaxing, reading for the summer reading program and just be together.
now I'm off to pull weeds, switch laundry and make a grocery run! guess the crazyness continues! :)
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
weigh in and summer school
wow, I haven't done a regular Tuesday morning weigh in in quite a while. I have had quite a spring! Lots going on and lots to think about, that my weigh loss has gotten pushed to a back burner. not totally lost, but definitely not been my focus with my grandmother's death and funeral and the vacations we took just before that. WOW!
Well, though I gained during vacation, I have lost 3.6 of those pounds since the last time I weighed in. Though it has been a couple of weeks, I am thankful for a step in the right direction. I am hoping to focus more on my eating and exercising again now that things are shifting to a slower pace as summer approaches.
We school through the summer so there will be no last day, but we are finishing up some things that we won't continue in the summer. My daughter (10) will finish up some math and language books this week. My son (12) will do math through the summer because we have had some struggles with getting him to do the work without checking the back of the book for answers. Then we will all do a Civil war book study over the summer. I am very excited about it and so grateful for that resource. Unfortunately we can't go visit the sites like they can, but my parents are going back east to some of those areas and I asked them to grab photos, postcards or other fun things if they can. I ordered many of the books from the library and am choosing to buy a few that I think would be good contributions to our library here at home. I have adapted some of the readings for my ages, as my oldest is only 12. I will be reading Uncle Tom's cabin, but most likely I won't be reading it to them. I am using mostly the everyone, littles and middles books. I am also adding the American girl Addy books since my daughter has them, hasn't read them yet, and loves the series.
I am hoping this will be a fun study at a slow easy pace. we will also be camping some this summer as well as swimming at my grandfather's pool.
see what others weighed in at, and what they are thankful for
Well, though I gained during vacation, I have lost 3.6 of those pounds since the last time I weighed in. Though it has been a couple of weeks, I am thankful for a step in the right direction. I am hoping to focus more on my eating and exercising again now that things are shifting to a slower pace as summer approaches.
We school through the summer so there will be no last day, but we are finishing up some things that we won't continue in the summer. My daughter (10) will finish up some math and language books this week. My son (12) will do math through the summer because we have had some struggles with getting him to do the work without checking the back of the book for answers. Then we will all do a Civil war book study over the summer. I am very excited about it and so grateful for that resource. Unfortunately we can't go visit the sites like they can, but my parents are going back east to some of those areas and I asked them to grab photos, postcards or other fun things if they can. I ordered many of the books from the library and am choosing to buy a few that I think would be good contributions to our library here at home. I have adapted some of the readings for my ages, as my oldest is only 12. I will be reading Uncle Tom's cabin, but most likely I won't be reading it to them. I am using mostly the everyone, littles and middles books. I am also adding the American girl Addy books since my daughter has them, hasn't read them yet, and loves the series.
I am hoping this will be a fun study at a slow easy pace. we will also be camping some this summer as well as swimming at my grandfather's pool.
see what others weighed in at, and what they are thankful for
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Mother's Day loss
My grandmother died on mother's day. I got a call as I was ditching church, laying in bed reading and painting my nails. My parent's said she wasn't breathing well, that's all they knew. She had been in a nursing home for two years and was doing just fine. (we found out later she choked on some food, aspirated and there was a DNR so they couldn't do anything for her) But I knew I had to go to her. I thought I would make it. I dressed, packed a bag and waited for my husband to get home from church. Then I drove 2 hours to where she was in the nursing home. When I arrived I was still sure I'd made it in time. As I walked up to the building one of my cousins was coming out and she told me it was too late. I cried. I couldn't believe I missed her. I went to her room where my aunts and uncle were around her bed and I had missed it by five minutes. I sobbed! I was present when my maternal grandmother passed away and somehow it was important to me to be here too. but I was late. I kept going over it in my head, if I had not waited for my husband to come home, or if I had not stopped to fill up a water bottle before I left, or if I had sped, or taken a different route, what if I hadn't stopped for lunch on my way? I sobbed and sobbed.
My Grammy was 90 years old. She had been getting progressively more senile for 10 years, the last few were the worst. There was such a conflict in me over her well being and my parents which I wrote about here. But to know she is gone, it is so final. I have had such a torrent of emotion over the last week and a half. Her funeral was on Friday. We went to Pueblo and stayed a few nights in a hotel. we should have stayed with my cousin, but we hadn't seen each other in 10 years and it seemed weird. In retrospect we should have just done it. But it was great to be with family. To reconnect with them. I am so sentimental and sappy. I love them and was glad to be with them, even if it took this sad time to bring us together.
I miss my Grammy. I have missed her for a long time. But it is final and she is gone, and I have been feeling like I don't have enough memories, enough pictures, and I just want to hang on so tightly to the ones I have. I am overwhelmed with my emotion and distress of the last week and then I go a day with out crying and I wonder if I have forgotten. Or I feel cold and uncaring that I can't cry today.
I was so blessed to be loved by her. And I never want her forgotten!
My Grammy was 90 years old. She had been getting progressively more senile for 10 years, the last few were the worst. There was such a conflict in me over her well being and my parents which I wrote about here. But to know she is gone, it is so final. I have had such a torrent of emotion over the last week and a half. Her funeral was on Friday. We went to Pueblo and stayed a few nights in a hotel. we should have stayed with my cousin, but we hadn't seen each other in 10 years and it seemed weird. In retrospect we should have just done it. But it was great to be with family. To reconnect with them. I am so sentimental and sappy. I love them and was glad to be with them, even if it took this sad time to bring us together.
I miss my Grammy. I have missed her for a long time. But it is final and she is gone, and I have been feeling like I don't have enough memories, enough pictures, and I just want to hang on so tightly to the ones I have. I am overwhelmed with my emotion and distress of the last week and then I go a day with out crying and I wonder if I have forgotten. Or I feel cold and uncaring that I can't cry today.
Saturday, May 08, 2010
TWO
WOW~ it has been two whole years since we welcomed this little miracle into our family. At the time I knew she'd be the last. Right now she still is, though with each passing day, as I see her growing up, I long for another baby to hold. As she runs farther from me and spends more time playing big kid games, I remember the early days and how tiny she was (though she was my biggest at 10lbs 13oz). I want more babies, but I haven't convinced my husband of that :) and so for now I have to watch as my baby learns to climb and jump, as she mimics older siblings and asserts her independence. She is such a joy! Her smile lights up a room and when she laughs, you can't help but laugh along...it is truly contagious.
Two years has flown by. I am so blessed that I get to be her mom. I don't feel worthy of it.
Two years has flown by. I am so blessed that I get to be her mom. I don't feel worthy of it.
Happy Birthday Emma!
Thursday, May 06, 2010
weighing in after vacation
Well, we went on vacation for almost 2 weeks and I gained a little over 5 lbs! I was afraid it would happen. See, this is the part of this journey that is hardest for me to wrap my mind around...eating with other people who eat the SAD (Standard American Diet). I don't eat that way anymore. And though I am losing slowly, I am losing. We eat differently but when we are with family we have to eat what they are eating, mostly processed foods with a slew of artificial preservatives, colors and flavors. I know we can't be perfect all the time, but after eating that way for almost 2 weeks, it did reek some havoc on my body and I gained weight. And WOW did I feel horrible. I felt bloated and irritable and sluggish. I had forgotten. Oh and since there were 3 birthdays celebrated in that time, I at so much store bought cake full of nasty ingredients, but let me tell you, after the very first bite, I craved it! I couldn't get enough of that frosting! I really made myself sick on it. bleck!
So, this week I am happily back to eating well now that we are home. It has been hard because I am coming off that processed stuff and kind of detoxing. I have had a headache and felt kind of tired this week, but am so glad to be back on real food!.
I have more trips with family coming up this summer. They will be shorter, but I still worry about the food. I don't like feeling like my body is on this roller coaster, and I don't like gaining weight so quickly that it took me so long to lose. I wish I knew how to balance this better. How to be around people who don't eat this way, and not offend them, but eat better. And it isn't really about educating them on the subject (though I'd like to spread my knowledge) but it is about not losing ground in my journey and keeping my body functioning at it's best.
but for now I will just get back to normal and hope my body will release those pounds quicker this time.
So, this week I am happily back to eating well now that we are home. It has been hard because I am coming off that processed stuff and kind of detoxing. I have had a headache and felt kind of tired this week, but am so glad to be back on real food!.
I have more trips with family coming up this summer. They will be shorter, but I still worry about the food. I don't like feeling like my body is on this roller coaster, and I don't like gaining weight so quickly that it took me so long to lose. I wish I knew how to balance this better. How to be around people who don't eat this way, and not offend them, but eat better. And it isn't really about educating them on the subject (though I'd like to spread my knowledge) but it is about not losing ground in my journey and keeping my body functioning at it's best.
but for now I will just get back to normal and hope my body will release those pounds quicker this time.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
weighing in and eating in
So, I am down another 1.2 lbs this week. I have eaten pretty well, probably too much chocolate, but I feel like my body feels different this week. When my husband rubs my back he says my skin feels smoother (maybe less fat underneath?) I feel like my belly hangs different. (TMI?) It's a good thing. I still would like it to be going faster because no one else will see results for quite a while, but I know I am working in the right direction. See Eclipsed for more weigh ins
I really am excited about this ecourse I have been taking. I have done some of the things before, like cooking my own beans (though I never soaked them first which I do now) and I have made stock and cooked chicken before but I am learning traditional methods of doing things which is so much more healthy, and so much more the way I believe God wanted us to eat. I am really happy about the direction I am going with food, my family is doing ok with the changes. I think the hardest part really is planning ahead to make sure there are enough snacks for the kids (I have a 12 year old with a hollow leg) and to make sure I have meat thawed etc, because there's no McD if I didn't pull it together. We are done with that.
I am a bit concerned about us travelling at the end of the month. I don't want to resort to eating out as we go just because it is easier. I am going to try to plan as much for the car as possible. I will write about that next week as I plan ahead and cook ahead. The other concern I have is that we are visiting family and of course will be eating the standard processed food they fix, which of course is not what I prefer. But, I guess it is a small time and since we don't eat like that often, hopefully it will be fine.
I really am excited about this ecourse I have been taking. I have done some of the things before, like cooking my own beans (though I never soaked them first which I do now) and I have made stock and cooked chicken before but I am learning traditional methods of doing things which is so much more healthy, and so much more the way I believe God wanted us to eat. I am really happy about the direction I am going with food, my family is doing ok with the changes. I think the hardest part really is planning ahead to make sure there are enough snacks for the kids (I have a 12 year old with a hollow leg) and to make sure I have meat thawed etc, because there's no McD if I didn't pull it together. We are done with that.
I am a bit concerned about us travelling at the end of the month. I don't want to resort to eating out as we go just because it is easier. I am going to try to plan as much for the car as possible. I will write about that next week as I plan ahead and cook ahead. The other concern I have is that we are visiting family and of course will be eating the standard processed food they fix, which of course is not what I prefer. But, I guess it is a small time and since we don't eat like that often, hopefully it will be fine.
Tuesday, April 06, 2010
weigh in
I lost another pound this week. I was starting to think that this is taking forever and I wish, as I watch the Biggest Loser contestants melt away, that I could do something dramatic. But in the end, I know I am making lifestyle changes over this time that will last. And I don't have the extra time in my current life to work on dramatic anyway. And also, it IS going down, consistently, and with out much real work, so I tell ya, I'm not complaining one bit! See how others are doing here.
Monday, April 05, 2010
Spring Fever
I almost feel like we should be on summer vacation. The weather isn't great, though it is warm and sunny, but the wind is whipping and it has a nip to it for sure. But I am feeling lazy these days. Maybe it is just recovering from the illnesses in the last few weeks, but I don't feel like doing school work. I just want to sit and play with bubbles and I really want to plant some flowers (though they will freeze if I do it this early), or maybe read a book and I certainly don't want to finish the spring cleaning or the laundry. I don't want to think about lesson plans or any plans for that matter. I just want to do nothing. I am not feeling particularly sad or depressed or grumpy, just lazy. I sound like I am naming dwarfs here.
But, I have made the kids do a little work today. They have done their core subjects even though I was half hearted in my attempt to make it sound meaningful. I have been going full force though for a while with our American history unit study, and I think maybe I am a bit burnt out. I still have a few lessons left in it as well. And I do plan on getting to them this week and maybe a bit into next to finish it up. And I really wanted to get to the Civil War this school year, though right now I am contemplating rescheduling it for another time.
Whatever shall I do.... I think I will go pour myself a glass of sun tea and think on it a bit more...
But, I have made the kids do a little work today. They have done their core subjects even though I was half hearted in my attempt to make it sound meaningful. I have been going full force though for a while with our American history unit study, and I think maybe I am a bit burnt out. I still have a few lessons left in it as well. And I do plan on getting to them this week and maybe a bit into next to finish it up. And I really wanted to get to the Civil War this school year, though right now I am contemplating rescheduling it for another time.
Whatever shall I do.... I think I will go pour myself a glass of sun tea and think on it a bit more...
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
weighing in
so I am down a little this week to 276.2. that is 1.4 down from last week YAY! but I will say that I had a wierd stomach bug last week which, well, may have helped. I ate fine, felt fine the first half of the week but had to use the bathroom lots! all week! so by the end of the week I was pretty drained...litterally! LOL (I know, tmi)
anyway, I felt better over the weekend only to wake up monday morning about 3 with a croupy little girl! will it ever end? I feel like it may not. It has been a rough couple of nights (and days aren't that easy either) of sitting in a steamy shower with a fevery, croupy girl who really, couldn't breath well, and maybe we really should have taken her to the ER. We almost did. But each time we sat in the shower she was better so I held onto that. Oh and did I mention it's 70 degrees? boy am I hot and sweaty and in need of an actual shower!
Today she seems a bit better, lower fever and coughing more up and breathing easier for sure! I hope the worst is behind us and I really hope no one else gets it!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have managed to get some laundry done and cleaned up the kitchen a bit and made some bread even! I am making this for dinner and serving over soaked rice with a salad. And if you want to see how anyone elses weight loss is going check here.
anyway, I felt better over the weekend only to wake up monday morning about 3 with a croupy little girl! will it ever end? I feel like it may not. It has been a rough couple of nights (and days aren't that easy either) of sitting in a steamy shower with a fevery, croupy girl who really, couldn't breath well, and maybe we really should have taken her to the ER. We almost did. But each time we sat in the shower she was better so I held onto that. Oh and did I mention it's 70 degrees? boy am I hot and sweaty and in need of an actual shower!
Today she seems a bit better, lower fever and coughing more up and breathing easier for sure! I hope the worst is behind us and I really hope no one else gets it!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have managed to get some laundry done and cleaned up the kitchen a bit and made some bread even! I am making this for dinner and serving over soaked rice with a salad. And if you want to see how anyone elses weight loss is going check here.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
weigh in: the one where everything stays the same...again
Does anyone even check on me anymore? I have been pretty boring. Sorry. Not losing (but thankfully not gaining). Yup. 277.6 lbs still. Don't get me wrong, I didn't gain anything and that is nothing to sneeze at considering I am not actively exercising or really doing anything different in my diet except eating better fats (butter and coconut oil) and homemade food (a lot of it prepared in a traditional method according to this book). And I am doing this awesome ecourse!!
I have made some very yummy things in the last couple of weeks. It is so easy though it does take some forethought. No throwing something together at the last minute. But I am enjoying learning the new methods and incorporating them into my normal routines. It's fun and I love that I am making the foods more nutritious for my family.
There is a soaked muffin recipe that I keep trying with different add ins. I am going to soak some flour and oats tonight to make the muffins tomorrow morning for breakfast, nothing like fresh hot muffins in the morning. I think tomorrow's will have some chopped up chocolate chips and some shredded coconut.
My family also really enjoyed the soaked pancakes and the homemade soaked pasta. I haven't made the soaked biscuits yet. Oh and let me tell you, I have been trying to make my family eat brown rice for years, no one likes it, we gag it down with some chicken and veggies once in a while, but it is a cheap bulk item I really would love us to eat more of. I have never been able to get it to taste good. It ends up still hard on the inside (or I burn it up with not enough water) or it has no flavor. Well, I made the soaked rice and it was SO good!! And my husband liked it too! and he always gags an obligatory bite down and wonders why we can't eat white rice. YAY for soaking and traditional foods!
Maybe I will get some motivation this week to exercise. I say that each week hoping it will be true... if yu want to see how others did this week check out Eclipsed.
I have made some very yummy things in the last couple of weeks. It is so easy though it does take some forethought. No throwing something together at the last minute. But I am enjoying learning the new methods and incorporating them into my normal routines. It's fun and I love that I am making the foods more nutritious for my family.
There is a soaked muffin recipe that I keep trying with different add ins. I am going to soak some flour and oats tonight to make the muffins tomorrow morning for breakfast, nothing like fresh hot muffins in the morning. I think tomorrow's will have some chopped up chocolate chips and some shredded coconut.
My family also really enjoyed the soaked pancakes and the homemade soaked pasta. I haven't made the soaked biscuits yet. Oh and let me tell you, I have been trying to make my family eat brown rice for years, no one likes it, we gag it down with some chicken and veggies once in a while, but it is a cheap bulk item I really would love us to eat more of. I have never been able to get it to taste good. It ends up still hard on the inside (or I burn it up with not enough water) or it has no flavor. Well, I made the soaked rice and it was SO good!! And my husband liked it too! and he always gags an obligatory bite down and wonders why we can't eat white rice. YAY for soaking and traditional foods!
Maybe I will get some motivation this week to exercise. I say that each week hoping it will be true... if yu want to see how others did this week check out Eclipsed.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
GREEN
I have not been too personally involved in our garden in years past. I am kind of a sedentary person and am a bit girly in the fact that I don't like dirt under my nails. But this year, in an effort to grow more of our food (which has been a goal of mine for a while) I am getting involved. I also hope that the added activity in my days will help with my weightloss lifestyle change.
So I will be out pulling weeds and watering, planting, raking and composting. I will have the kids help and we will do a gardening unit study along with it. I hope to post some pictures through out the process as well.
To start I will show you our plants we started inside so far...
It's mostly bell peppers at this point. We did start a few other seeds just for fun though none of them need to be started yet. I haven't gotten my tomatoes yet or they would be there as well. I hope they come soon because they should be started soon.
So that is how we are coming so far...to see how others are going green.
So I will be out pulling weeds and watering, planting, raking and composting. I will have the kids help and we will do a gardening unit study along with it. I hope to post some pictures through out the process as well.
To start I will show you our plants we started inside so far...
It's mostly bell peppers at this point. We did start a few other seeds just for fun though none of them need to be started yet. I haven't gotten my tomatoes yet or they would be there as well. I hope they come soon because they should be started soon.Here is our garden area (newly hoed though we will rototill before actually planting)
And here is the new compost area my husband built this weekend.
We have had bad luck in the past, maybe because we just weren't adding enough "brown" to our green. I am having a homeschool chuck-wagon dinner next week and will have some bales of hay to put out here in the compost after that. I also will send the kids out to turn it each day as well. They love playing with rotting food and worms :) We will also use the hay to mulch in between plants to keep moisture in and weeds down.
So that is how we are coming so far...to see how others are going green.
weigh in
so, I didn't get around to posting yesterday. We have been busy with getting over sickness, and had a field trip on Monday to the railroad museum and then my oldest ended up sick yesterday. It has been a roller coaster these last few weeks.
I am down .4 lbs from last week. Not terribly exciting, but I am thankful it isn't a gain. Exercising is still slow in coming but the good thing is that I am definately working more movement into my everyday tasks. I guess over the long haul that is the best thing to sustain a life change and not just a "diet". So while I''d love to be 25 lbs down now, I think the things I am doing are definately changing my lifestyle.
I am loving the ecourse I am taking and will hopefully have some time to post about it soon.
I am down .4 lbs from last week. Not terribly exciting, but I am thankful it isn't a gain. Exercising is still slow in coming but the good thing is that I am definately working more movement into my everyday tasks. I guess over the long haul that is the best thing to sustain a life change and not just a "diet". So while I''d love to be 25 lbs down now, I think the things I am doing are definately changing my lifestyle.
I am loving the ecourse I am taking and will hopefully have some time to post about it soon.
Tuesday, March 09, 2010
weigh in and life
Well, no loss or gain this week. I am not surprised, but a bit sad because I keep thinking I could be 20 lbs down by now if I would keep exercising. I am lazy.
so I am going to work on working out this week, AGAIN. I was unpacking a box in the storage room this week and found 2 workout videos that are old, but could serve to mix me up a bit from just riding my stationary bike (infrequently as it is). So we will see.
Good news is that my daughter Megan is doing much better and seems to be recovering from her food poisoning. I am so glad. I felt so bad!
And my 5 year old son Gabe had his speech evaluation today and I am a bit disappointed in the evaluation itself and am glad to hear she doesn't think he has a hearing problem (though she never acctually did a hearing test), but I am not sure she can do any more then I am doing myself at this point. SO, I am not sure what to do next...
so I am going to work on working out this week, AGAIN. I was unpacking a box in the storage room this week and found 2 workout videos that are old, but could serve to mix me up a bit from just riding my stationary bike (infrequently as it is). So we will see.
Good news is that my daughter Megan is doing much better and seems to be recovering from her food poisoning. I am so glad. I felt so bad!
And my 5 year old son Gabe had his speech evaluation today and I am a bit disappointed in the evaluation itself and am glad to hear she doesn't think he has a hearing problem (though she never acctually did a hearing test), but I am not sure she can do any more then I am doing myself at this point. SO, I am not sure what to do next...
Sunday, March 07, 2010
bad mom
So my 10 year old has food poisoning. A couple of weeks ago I made homemade mayo. That of course means raw eggs. I was fine because I used eggs that I believe are from better sources then most factory farmed eggs, so they would be safer and less likely contaminated. We ate the mayo, all of us in several dishes over several days and were fine. Well, almost 2 weeks later I went to use it and saw big red spots on it so I threw it out. Coincidentally, that same day Megan says she isn't feeling well, and starts throwing up and having diarrhea. I wondered ho we got the stomach flu when we hadn't been out to the store or park or museum or anything (usually you can tell where you where in the last few days that you might have caught a bug). We had been home all week!
I started to worry about everyone else getting sick, but had this nagging feeling about the mayo. So I asked if she had used it at all lately. She said yes in fact she had made herself a deviled egg two days before! I asked if it looked or smelled funny. She said there were some brown dots but she scooped around them!!!
Oh no! So I am confident that she has salmonella poisoning. I have done lots of research and it seems likely. She has been feeling bad for 4 days (though today she seems better) and no one else has gotten sick. I have been making her drink lots of fluids and I wish I had some homemade broth to give her. But I tried getting her to eat some yogurt, but she really doesn't want to eat much, most things make her nauseous and gag. But I got some probiotic pills and she seems to be able to take them fine.
I am thankful she seems to be getting better. I have never had food poisoning and no one else in the family has either. I have been a bit freaked out and I feel so bad. I should have paid attention and thrown it out after the recommended 3 days. I feel horrible that my baby is suffering. I hope that the fact that she hasn't thrown up since yesterday means she is on the mend.
I started to worry about everyone else getting sick, but had this nagging feeling about the mayo. So I asked if she had used it at all lately. She said yes in fact she had made herself a deviled egg two days before! I asked if it looked or smelled funny. She said there were some brown dots but she scooped around them!!!
Oh no! So I am confident that she has salmonella poisoning. I have done lots of research and it seems likely. She has been feeling bad for 4 days (though today she seems better) and no one else has gotten sick. I have been making her drink lots of fluids and I wish I had some homemade broth to give her. But I tried getting her to eat some yogurt, but she really doesn't want to eat much, most things make her nauseous and gag. But I got some probiotic pills and she seems to be able to take them fine.
I am thankful she seems to be getting better. I have never had food poisoning and no one else in the family has either. I have been a bit freaked out and I feel so bad. I should have paid attention and thrown it out after the recommended 3 days. I feel horrible that my baby is suffering. I hope that the fact that she hasn't thrown up since yesterday means she is on the mend.
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