weighing in

so I am down a little this week to 276.2.  that is 1.4 down from last week YAY!  but I will say that I had a wierd stomach bug last week which, well, may have helped.  I ate fine, felt fine the first half of the week but had to use the bathroom lots!  all week! so by the end of the week I was pretty drained...litterally! LOL (I know, tmi)

anyway, I felt better over the weekend only to wake up monday morning about 3 with a croupy little girl!  will it ever end?  I feel like it may not.  It has been a rough couple of nights (and days aren't that easy either) of sitting in a steamy shower with a fevery, croupy girl who really, couldn't breath well, and maybe we really should have taken her to the ER.  We almost did.  But each time we sat in the shower she was better so I held onto that. Oh and did I mention it's 70 degrees?  boy am I hot and sweaty and in need of an actual shower!

Today she seems a bit better, lower fever and coughing more up and breathing easier for sure!  I hope the worst is behind us and I really hope no one else gets it!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have managed to get some laundry done and cleaned up the kitchen a bit and made some bread even!  I am making this for dinner and serving over soaked rice with a salad.  And if you want to see how anyone elses weight loss is going check here.

Preach it!

All I have to say is amen sister!

weigh in: the one where everything stays the same...again

Does anyone even check on me anymore?   I have been pretty boring.  Sorry. Not losing (but thankfully not gaining).  Yup. 277.6 lbs still.  Don't get me wrong, I didn't gain anything and that is nothing to sneeze at considering I am not actively exercising or really doing anything different in my diet except eating better fats (butter and coconut oil) and homemade food (a lot of it prepared in a traditional method according to this book).  And I am doing this awesome ecourse!!

I have made some very yummy things in the last couple of weeks.  It is so easy though it does take some forethought.  No throwing something together at the last minute.  But I am enjoying learning the new methods and incorporating them into my normal routines.  It's fun and I love that I am making the foods more nutritious for my family.

There is a soaked muffin recipe that I keep trying with different add ins.  I am going to soak some flour and oats tonight to make the muffins tomorrow morning for breakfast, nothing like fresh hot muffins in the morning.  I think tomorrow's will have some chopped up chocolate chips and some shredded coconut.

My family also really enjoyed the soaked pancakes and the homemade soaked pasta.  I haven't made the soaked biscuits yet.  Oh and let me tell you, I have been trying to make my family eat brown rice for years, no one likes it, we gag it down with some chicken and veggies once in a while, but it is a cheap bulk item I really would love us to eat more of. I have never been able to get it to taste good.  It ends up still hard on the inside (or I burn it up with not enough water) or it has no flavor.  Well, I made the soaked rice and it was SO good!!  And my husband liked it too!  and he always gags an obligatory bite down and wonders why we can't eat white rice.  YAY for soaking and traditional foods!

Maybe I will get some motivation this week to exercise.  I say that each week hoping it will be true... if yu want to see how others did this week check out Eclipsed.

GREEN

I have not been too personally involved in our garden in years past.  I am kind of a sedentary person and am a bit girly in the fact that I don't like dirt under my nails.  But this year, in an effort to grow more of our food (which has been a goal of mine for a while) I am getting involved.  I also hope that the added activity in my days will help with my weightloss lifestyle change.

So I will be out pulling weeds and watering, planting, raking and composting.  I will have the kids help and we will do a gardening unit study along with it.  I hope to post some pictures through out the process as well. 

To start I will show you our plants we started inside so far...

It's  mostly bell peppers at this point.  We did start a few other seeds just for fun though none of them need to be started yet.  I haven't gotten my tomatoes yet or they would be there as well.  I hope they come soon because they should be started soon.

Here is our garden area (newly hoed though we will rototill before actually planting)

And here is the new compost area my husband built this weekend.

We have had bad luck in the past, maybe because we just weren't adding enough "brown" to our green. I am having a homeschool chuck-wagon dinner next week and will have some bales of hay to put out here in the compost after that. I also will send the kids out to turn it each day as well. They love playing with rotting food and worms :) We will also use the hay to mulch in between plants to keep moisture in and weeds down.

So that is how we are coming so far...to see how others are going green.

weigh in

so, I didn't get around to posting yesterday.  We have been busy with getting over sickness, and had a field trip on Monday to the railroad museum and then my oldest ended up sick yesterday.  It has been a roller coaster these last few weeks.

I am down .4 lbs from last week.  Not terribly exciting, but I am thankful it isn't a gain.  Exercising is still slow in coming but the good thing is that I am definately working more movement into my everyday tasks.  I guess over the long haul that is the best thing to sustain a life change and not just a "diet".  So while I''d love to be 25 lbs down now, I think the things I am doing are definately changing my lifestyle.

I am loving the ecourse I am taking and will hopefully have some time to post about it soon.

weigh in and life

Well, no loss or gain this week.  I am not surprised, but a bit sad because I keep thinking I could be 20 lbs down by now if I would keep exercising.  I am lazy. 

so I am going to work on working out this week, AGAIN. I was unpacking a box in the storage room this week and found 2 workout videos that are old, but could serve to mix me up a bit from just riding my stationary bike (infrequently as it is). So we will see.



Good news is that my daughter Megan is doing much better and seems to be recovering from her food poisoning.  I am so glad.  I felt so bad!

And my 5 year old son Gabe had his speech evaluation today and I am a bit disappointed in the evaluation itself and am glad to hear she doesn't think he has a hearing problem (though she never acctually did a hearing test), but I am not sure she can do any more then I am doing myself at this point.  SO, I am not sure what to do next...

bad mom

So my 10 year old has food poisoning.  A couple of weeks ago I made homemade mayo.  That of course means raw eggs.  I was fine because I used eggs that I believe are from better sources then most factory farmed eggs, so they would be safer and less likely contaminated.  We ate the mayo, all of us in several dishes over several days and were fine.  Well, almost 2 weeks later I went to use it and saw big red spots on it so I threw it out.  Coincidentally, that same day Megan says she isn't feeling well, and starts throwing up and having diarrhea.  I wondered ho we got the stomach flu when we hadn't been out to the store or park or museum or anything (usually you can tell where you where in the last few days that you might have caught a bug).  We had been home all week!

I started to worry about everyone else getting sick, but had this nagging feeling about the mayo.  So I asked if she had used it at all lately.  She said yes in fact she had made herself a deviled egg two days before!  I asked if it looked or smelled funny.  She said there were some brown dots but she scooped around them!!!

Oh no!  So I am confident that she has salmonella poisoning.  I have done lots of research and it seems likely.  She has been feeling bad for 4 days (though today she seems better) and no one else has gotten sick.  I have been making her drink lots of fluids and I wish I had some homemade broth to give her.  But I tried getting her to eat some yogurt, but she really doesn't want to eat much, most things make her nauseous and gag.  But I got some probiotic pills and she seems to be able to take them fine.

I am thankful she seems to be getting better.  I have never had food poisoning and no one else in the family has either.  I have been a bit freaked out and I feel so bad.  I should have paid attention and thrown it out after the recommended 3 days.  I feel horrible that my baby is suffering.  I hope that the fact that she hasn't thrown up since yesterday means she is on the mend.

weigh in

This week I have done ok with food, still not regularly exercising but definately moving more in my normal routines, and I lost 1.4 lbs!  YAY!  I think I mentioned last week that I am losing with so little effort, but I am losing so little at a time...I know if I put even a little effort into exercising I would see better results.  I will work on that still, but at least the number is going in the right direction, even if I didn't lose my goal of 10 lbs this month. I need to kick it up a notch this month I think.  I will aim for 10 lbs again this month.

See how Kris did...way to go!!

weekly challenge #9

So, I am still plugging along, trying desperately to be motivated to exercise.  But I am still moving forward toward health (I am especially excited about this course) and haven't given up so woohoo!

This week Kris is challenging us to get more sleep and add a fruit or veggie at every meal.  Well, first, I have a nursing toddler and she does nurse at night.  I try not to stay up past 10pm most nights, but sometimes if hubby and I want some extra alone time we will watch a movie til late.  But, I am awake a lot during the night while I nurse.  I am a big fan of letting kids wean themselves in their own time, so I won't stop this.  I will say that it is getting better, she is sleeping longer these days (though usually still in our bed) but it does affect my sleep.  I am sure that I could feel better if I was more consistently getting full nights sleep.  But for now this will have to do.

I have been drinking green smoothies some mornings, not every morning, to get some extra veggies and fruits in my days.  They are so good and I just made this heavenly one (I used milk instead of rice milk, and honey instead of agave) this morning.... it was that kind of morning :) the kids love this one and I didn't make enough...I may need to make more later :)

I am not a huge fan of salads, though I do eat them.  I had wanted to do a salad for lunch every day when I started this but it hasn't been working.  I was too hungry too soon after.  I won't eat commercially marketed salad dressings as they are too high in artificial things I can't even pronounce.  I need to learn to make my own but the things I have tried haven't turned out so well.  So salads end up being tasteless and boring.

The kids and I do enjoy orange, yellow and red bell peppers.  I can't find them organic this time of year around here, but I do buy some non organic since it's one of the only things we buy non organic ( along with the clementines I like to snack on).  I try to have a frozen veggie my kids like at dinner every night.  I can't wait til summer and farmers markets and our garden ....  but for now we work in what we can.

Fruit is easier because it is sweet.  This time of year we eat a lot of clementines and apples.  I use a lot of frozen fruit in those smoothies I mentioned and if there is a sale on grapes like we had last week we stock up (though they were still gone in a few days) but is was a nice treat in this boring time of the food year.

So... good things happening in our food life.

being a grown up

Being a grown up is hard.  Sometimes, many times, you have to make hard decisions.  You have to deal with things that you'd rather not.  I don't like being a grown up.  Why is it that kids spend so much time trying to be more grown up.  They don't know how good they've got it.  I was like that.  I couldn't wait to grow up and have babies.  They have been a blessing.  But sometimes I have had to make hard decisions, and it is then that I wish I hadn't grown up so fast.  Like when I had to hand my 6 week old baby over to have surgery that I didn't think she'd come out of.  Or when I pushed my son into a preschool classroom and had to stand on the other side and hold it closed to keep him in.  And now, my 5 year old son is going to be evaluated by a speech therapist.  I have known for a long time he needed it.  I was trying to deny it.  I have worked hard to try to help him overcome his speech issues with out outside help.

But it's time to be a grown up.

I don't know why it is so hard for me.  I think part of it is that I don't want him to be stigmatized as different.  He already is by the fact that he can't be understood by anyone outside of our family (and sometimes not even by us).  But I don't want to admit there is a problem I guess.  I know he is so smart, the things he comes up with... but he can't get it all out.  His communication is lacking.  He is so brilliant and funny and brave and kind hearted... I don't want to admit to his fault.  I haven't wanted him to feel out of place by having to go and be tested and have people talk about his "disability"  but as it stands, he has no friends because they can't understand him, and I can see it hurts his feelings.

So finally I have realized it is time to take further intervention.  In 2 weeks he sees the speech therapist.  I am nervous, for me and for him.  He is shy around others (probably because of his impediment) and I worry he won't cooperate.  I worry that treatment will be long and complicated and he will feel bad about himself, or that it won't be fixable... I know I need to wait and see.  I can't jump to every possible conclusion... I need to relax and take it as we go.  I know if I trust God I will be able to get through and do the right thing.

I guess that is another part of the problem... I wonder if I am making the right decision.  My daughter came out of surgery and recovered and is a healthy 10 year old...I made the right decision.  My son hated school and didn't want to go and life was miserable for all of us... the wrong decision (though I took him out a few weeks later and was so glad to have him back home where he belonged...the right decision)  I don't know how this will turn out.  I hope it will be the right decision, I hope it wasn't the wrong decision to wait this long.  I only want what's best for my kids.

And sometimes I want to curl up in my mommy's lap and not have to be responsible for these other lives.


     

weigh in, random stuff, and gratitude

well, I lost a pound this week.  yay!  I am now finally down .6 lbs from my original loss (because I gained a bit back).  down to 279.4.  So, I definitely know I need to exercise.  I am just not making that a priority.  I have done little things to improve my daily  movement, which is good, but if I am going to really lose a big amount of weight, I am going to have to exercise.  I feel like I have some valid reasons why it isn't being worked in, but they are just excuses and if I really wanted to make it work, I would. 

So I am going to do the Biggest Loser cardio max 2-3 days a week and then ride our bike the other days, taking only Sundays off.   See Kris for more weigh ins.

Oh and I am totally excited to be taking that ecourse I mentioned!  I can't wait to learn about all the great natural, traditional ways to prepare food to make it more healthy and nutritious.  I am working my budget to try and incorporate raw milk but I may not be able to quite yet.  I am going to get a farm share of fruit and we are going to grow our own garden of veggies, I am going to get pastured eggs from a farm as well.  I will blog a bit about that as I go.  The course started this week and just talks about the basic definitions of natural and organic (according to the industry and according to God).

We are wrapping up our Revolutionary war unit this week and the kids are presenting a president report on Friday at our co-op.  Then we will get into Lewis and Clark and the westward expansion of our country.

Oh and I made a sour dough starter this last week, from scratch!  I made pancakes with it yesterday and they were great.  I am making the bread today so I will let ya know how it comes out.  I hear this is an art and it may not turn out the first time.

I haven't been blogging much on my spiritual journey as I had hoped.  I had said at the beginning of the year one of my resolutions was to become closer to my Creator.  I have been consumed with reading books, books about joy and God's love.  I have loved them and have been feeling more joy in my life then I have in a long time.  It is still mixed with days that I feel defeated.  I think that satan wants to make me feel like that so I can't press on.  But I am continuing to look up and know that God loves me even when I don't love myself.  I still want to be better at doing my devotions.  I don't spend enough time with God alone.  But I am trusting him with some life situations and he is teaching me some things.  And I am so grateful for that.

challenge week 8

Wow, I have been on a roller coaster the last few weeks and have felt like I am going nowhere but back to where I started.  But the fact is that I haven't gained back all the weight I lost (even though it wasn't much) and so I keep looking forward at what I can do next to make habit changes. 

This week Kris issued the challenge of how to handle cravings. I don't think I have handled them too well in the last few weeks, but I have done better then ever before so that is a plus.  First, I don't deprive myself.  I have found that if I say "No chocolate" then the first thing I want is chocolate!  So I do have some.  I keep my favorite chocolate around but only have one or two squares and keeping it cold helps because it takes longer to eat, allowing for the feeling of indulging.  I also discovered this smoothie and it is fabulous!!  I use honey instead of agave but it really feels indulgent and I am getting all those great vitamins and nutrients and way less calories then lets say a Reece's pb cup.  So that is working for me.  I have a cookie if I have made the kids some (I may even have two) but I am not getting carried away, because I don't feel deprived.

The second thing in the challenge is doing strength training along with he cardio.  I totally believe in this but haven't even found a way to work in exercise every day so I will keep it in mind as I get better at that.

Thanks for all the encouragement and great tips everyone!

perseverance

So over at Eclipsed, Kris asks every week if we have had a non scale victory (NSV).  If you look back, I have been having some rough weeks.  But I am sticking with it and still trying to actively reduce my portion sizes and put some more  movement into my day.  I think this week has been an improvement and I am feeling good about it even if it isn't going as fast or easy as I would like.  Because over all health is the ultimate goal, with the weightloss being the perk.  So, as long as I am changing habits, I am good.

I have chosen fruit this week, instead of cookies.  I have also had cookies, but not the whole batch.  I have gone up and down the stairs to do laundry instead of asking kids or husband to haul it for me.  I have parked in the back of lots and walked to the store (my kids hate that).  And I am working in more veggies.

I am pressing on.  And that is victory.

phew!

When I woke up this morning I decided that if I didn't weigh myself today, that I was essentially giving up.  And I don't want to give up.  I always give up.  I want to make this work even if it takes a long time and is really hard. Even if I have set backs.  I want to change the way I live. And so I got up and went to the scale.

And ya know what?  280.4  A pound down from last week.  And with me feeling like I didn't work very hard at it this week, that is great!  Of course I know if I worked even a little harder it would be more.  I don't have to kill myself working out or deprive myself, I need to get that through my thick skull!! 

And so I will keep on going, working in more movement and more veggies, and keeping a good attitude towards this process, that is my goal this week.

see how well Kris did!

humbug

I haven't been exercising and can't seem to find the motivation.  I am grumpy and my toddler won't let me have 10 seconds to type here so I will just say that I didn't make it to buy the pedometer I was going to last week to complete the challenge from last week.

This week challenge one is not really something I can do.  I mean, my goal food wise is for more natural foods, in their raw state as much as possible. But my emphasis isn't really on protein and good carbs.  I don't necessarily believe that that approach is the best.  My focus is on veggies, fruits and again, whole foods.  I do eat meat, but not tons.  My protein comes a lot from beans and some cheese, eggs and yogurt.  I am playing with the idea of going raw for my milk, I just need to find the best way to work it into my budget.  So maybe I will just challenge myself to up my veggies this week.

I already have lots of scripture posted around my house so I will think about what I can add to motivate me to exercise.

I may skip weigh in tomorrow and eat some truffles at the rate I am going.  I need some kind of real kick in the pants to get me moving. I am not sure what it is but I was so gung ho a few weeks ago and like always I have fizzled out.  I need to pray more and worry less. and here comes the toddler so I gotta go...

Food

Hmmm, where to start?  well, I have a certain philosophy about things that is not really mainstream, hence the blog name.  Well, the crux of that philosophy is the word natural.  I have an evolving definition of what natural is.  At first it meant just organic veggies and dairy, then it was grass fed meats and cloth diapers, then it was vinegar to clean with and ridding us of chemical laden skin care etc.  I have dabbled in trying to get more items of food locally.  We even moved to 39 acres in an attempt to try to live more naturally.  (It was a terrible place that we chose and moved promptly back to the city).

But I continue to want to learn more.  I really want to live in the way God intended.  Naturally.  That means no birth control, no hydrogenated oils or corn syrup, and I have been getting better.  We aren't perfect, and I have mentioned my addiction to fast food.  Well, I believe 100% that the reason for the addiction has nothing to do with the foods themselves but the process, chemicals, preservatives and altered things added as well as things subtracted...the nutrition!  All in the name of "progress".

Anyway, I have been developing a sense of despair about being able to really live naturally.  I mean, come on, I don't know where to get raw milk (since it is illegal) and I can go to a farmers market in the summer but where do I get my veggies today?  I want to do these things but they take so much work, and money.  I feel sometimes like I can't do it, and so we fall back into old habits and buying fake foods.

I believe every American needs to watch this film. I cry, really.  I am so saddened by our countrys treatment of people (not to mention the animals).  And like they said...we vote 3 times a day (probably most of us more).  I want to be different so that our future and my kids' future is different.

It is interesting as I was hearing about the first Lady and her campaign to end obesity especially in children.  The answer is in this film.  EAT REAL FOOD!  The epidemic is being caused by the fake stuff they pass off as food.  It is addicting and it is dangerous.

I found this blog and I am late in coming but I have heard of Nourishing Traditions before and am now ready to start, but...it is overwhelming to know where to start.  But I am going to try to catch up and see if I can double up on some of the challenges from this week and last.  I am also considering taking this course.  We will see how I do in the next week or so.  But the philosophy expressed there is exactly how I feel and want to be.

SO, I am excited to really live well and locally and learn traditional cooking so that my family and hopefully future generations will be healthier and remember these dying art forms. And I can only imagine what it will do for my waist line :)

It's dark under here

SO I guess this week while Holly is back on the wagon...I fell off.  Maybe only so many people are allowed to be on the wagon at a time.  There is only so much room?  Does anyone know if that is the case?  Hmmm, well, in any case, I think that everything went out the window.  Exercise, eating well, my attitude....all fell down there under the wheels, where it is muddy and mucky. I think it may have something to do with a cute little neighbor girl who delivered some famous cookies to my door.  Now, I will admit that it was me who bought and paid for said cookies two weeks ago, but I will now continue to blame her until they are all gone, (which at the rate I am going won't be long).

 Or maybe it is because I spent the weekend at my parents' house.  They eat things like J I F peanut butter on white bread and the "syrup" in a bottle shaped like a cabin.  And my mom makes frosting for a birthday cake out of shortening!  uggg!  I keep trying to gently explain to them the dangers of these foods but they like them and so they continue. (and they wonder why they are always sick) They buy tons of precessed foods and it drives me nuts!  My kids love it because they have pop tarts and honey nut o cereal and juice.  I grew up like that.  That may explain a lot!  Anyway...

I gained 1.4 lbs this week.  I was hoping to skip over that and maybe no one would notice I didn't post a weight this week.  but I need to be accountable for this to work so I am being honest with you and myself. But...

I am going to pick it all back up, shake it off and try to climb back up on the wagon.  And its hard, because it's still moving,.  Life is still moving forward and I don't want to wait too long here in the muck or else it will pass me by, and I don't want to get another hundred pounds over weight before the next wagon comes along.

SOOOO....to that end, I am going to accept this challenge (#2) and  I will aim for 6-8,000 steps because I think 10,000 on my first attempt to get moving might set me up for failure.  But, as she mentions, purposefully adding more movement of any kind is a step in the right direction.  I will say that I am not counting calories, though I do try to work in snacks evenly and they are healthy (usually).  I really like those little cutie oranges as well as a handful of nuts. 

I lift my morning smoothie...here's to a fresh start this week....back on the wagon.

ummm, what?

Oh my goodness!  I can't believe it!!  I just weighed in and I have lost 1.4 lbs this week!!!  I mentioned yesterday that I had a terrible week and I figured I would have gained.  So, I am wondering if somehow my scale is broken or what am I doing right????  So that puts me at an even 280 today.  With a weightloss of 7 lbs in a month (I think I have officially been at this for 4 weeks).  Not the 10lbs I was hoping for but with the slacking I did last week and how slow I feel I am getting motivated, I'd say it's pretty good. 

I also wanted to update on the weekly challenge from last week...I didn't do great this last week.  I ate out once at the Bell.  I didn't check calories at all but I also didn't over eat.  And other then the online supporters, I don't have anyone on this journey with me in real life.  My hubby is a great cheerleader though :)

This week's challenge is to change up my exercise.  Well, I for sure need to make sure TO exercise LOL.  I have been doing The Biggest Loser Cardio Max about every other day.  I just got our stationary bike out and so I am going to mix in that this week.  I haven't been able to go swimming yet because I have small children who can't be left alone and I don't do public childcare.  So, that will have to wait until hubby can be home a few evenings at a predictable time so I can go do a water aerobics class.

And as for the breakfasts...well, I already really like the smoothies I have been doing ( great ideas here).  But I also really like fresh fruit mixed with plain yogurt and drizzled with the tiniest bit of honey.  I will work on eating these this week and snacking better so I keep up this loss. 

My goal for the next month is going to be 10 lbs!  Wish me luck :)

Odds and Ends

I am just going to come out and say it...this week sucked!  I just was feeling icky.  Nothing in particular, just blah.  I didn't exercise every day, I didn't eat well at all, and I have been pretty cranky.  I just know I have gained back some weight and I am totally afraid to look.  I don't officially weigh until Tuesday so I have a day to pull it together and see if I can reverse the damage.  If I am lucky maybe I will at least maintain.

I need to get back to having smoothies for breakfast.  I just feel like I am hungry within an hour of drinking it so I get discouraged.  I know I need to just have an orange or some nuts to get me through, or more smoothie.  It is way better then cookies or candy.  But I just had an off week.  I know it will happen, but it's early in this process, I expected to make it a bit farther.

Also, we are in the thick of the Revolution around here, I will try to take pictures and post a few this week.  We are reading Johnny Tremain to go along with our study.

Oh, and I can't leave out the fact that LOST is back this week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I will have more to say about that later.

So, hopefully this will be a good week all the way around.

Resistance

So, my efforts to homeschool have been met with resistance lately.  I am a bit frustrated with that.  My kids have decided that they want to whine and fight me at every turn.  I just got back from that great conference and though the main topic was finding joy in Christ, the underlying topics were about raising kids to see the joy of Christ by modeling it and of course by modeling grace and compassion and I totally feel guilty now for making anyone do anything they don't want to or for punishing any form of resistance because would that be showing the grace and mercy that Christ shows us when we resist his teachings?

I want to show my kids the same mercies God shows me.  But I am not sure what that looks like.  I know He doesn't want me to just let everything get crazy around here with no respect for others.  So we talk about that and we make the kids apologize when they are mean and things, but when it comes to school, they resist.  And it is constant.  You would think after 5 and a half years we would know that this is how it is, but still no.  There is argument.  Especially from my 12 year old.  He starts it.  He thinks he doesn't have to do anything.  And many people will probably tell me to let up, change it up a bit.  Well, believe me, I do.  When he seems bored with worksheets I grab a computer game, when he gets bored with that we use board games or story books, we use all sorts of different methods and still he refuses.  I know it is a character issue.  He even refused to do a bible study my husband wanted to do with just the two of them.

How do we rein this back in after apparently failing to train him to do these things up to this point?  I mean, I never think I do a good job and of course think I have many failures but I thought we were doing a fine job of this character training.

I don't want a robot, but I also want respect.  And I want my son to love to learn and he just pouts, does bare minimum and fights me all the way. (and, to be honest, my husband just yells at him and commands him to respect and obey his mom. well, it's not working and I don't think that is the right approach.)

this is just a rant.  I have heard it all from my support group moms, but if anyone has a fresh idea, I'd love to hear it....especially if you've had a difficult 12 year old :)